Sex, Love, and Basketball *Books 1 and 2* (Slowly Editing)

40. Millenniums

Excuse any mistakes or grammatical errors.

Malaya

"When you get done, call Nas to come get you, did you save his number in your phone already?" I asked Ro and she sighed.

"Yes, I did everything you told me to. Now go, so I can get this place ready. Stop freaking out so much."

"Wait." I spoke as Ro basically pushed me out of the apartment. "Are you sure you're gonna be okay alone with Nas? I know how you feel about men. He's not a bad guy at all, but I get it if-"

"I'll be fine. I'm just gonna stay in Nadia's room until she gets back. You focus on what you have going on. Go have fun."

I finally let Ro push me completely out of the door and she wasted no time shutting it in my face. Rude.

"Call me of you need anything, Roxanne." I called through the door, thinking I'd get a reaction out of her for using her name, but I didn't.

Raquel and I both had grown to really love having Ro around. We were hesitant in the beginning, but once she started to open up and interact with us more, it was hard not to want her around. Sometimes I wish she'd be more social, but I guess those things take time after spending so much time alone.

She's pretty closed off for the most part, but she seems to open up more when Nadia or Jade is around. Especially Jade. I had no idea that Ro had a goofy side, but I guess Jade just brings it out of her.

I guess I should explain what's going on. Well, Raquel and Parker graduated today and just like every year, Coach is having a going away party for the graduates. The whole team is invited as well as their families and friends. The gym is decorated appropriately for the event and there are even projector screens that play the senior's highlights on a loop. It's pretty cool if you ask me. It's a really good time for anyone that attends. And don't even get me started on the food. Raya's friend's uncle owns a restaurant and he caters the event. Well, Gage is her girlfriend now, but yeah. Gage's uncle caters the event. His restaurant is called Momma Jean's. It used to be his mother's restaurant, but it was passed down to him when she passed away. He never changed a recipe.

Anyway, tonight was going to be a great time with great food and I was looking forward to it. Raquel was out with her family right now. They were all already ready for the party since it was starting soon. I made an excuse to stay back because I had something special planned for Raquel. I was going to be a little late, but it would be fine.

I was definitely going to make it up to her.

-

I had butterflies the whole drive to campus. I was always a little nervous around Raquel. I couldn't help myself, but to be because just being in the presence of someone so perfect is overwhelming. I really don't understand how after everything we've been through, she's still here. She still loves me. I know I don't deserve her and that scares me because she may not agree right now, but my biggest fear is that one day she's going to realize that she could do and deserves so much better than me. I know it was a while ago, but I still find myself struggling to forgive myself for hurting her.

There are times when I feel like I'm past it, but other times I'm overwhelmed with guilt and regret. The regret never went away though. I fucked up and I can never change that, but I wish I could stop hating myself for it. Raquel doesn't know I still feel like this. Then again, she knows me well enough to notice certain things about me. Maybe she just hasn't addressed it.

When I arrived on campus, I parked in the parking lot to the multiplex and took a deep breath after I turned my car off. It may seem like I'm being dramatic, but I'm not. I have every reason to be nervous. Try dating Raquel Burrows and you'll see what I mean.