Valkyrie: Omg Skulduggery remember when I first found out that you were a skeleton
Skulduggery: And you fainted? Like an old lady?
Valkyrie: Hey! Saids the person who stupidly got kidnapped by Serpine
Tanith: Ouch
Valkyrie: Be glad I was there to save you
Skulduggery: Hey I saved you multiple times. Serpine was doing his right hand thing on you and I killed him with the Sceptre
Valkyrie: Yeah well I saved you when you were getting beaten to death by Vengeous
Skulduggery: I was winning that fight! And plus he was only punching me because I threw dynamite on him all those years ago
Tanith: Meanwhile Ghastly was a statue....
Ghastly: I miss all the fun fights
Valkyrie: Then there was the Diablerie....
Tanith: That China used to lead
China: Hey I helped take down the Diablerie...
Valkyrie: Oh yeah that was the time we met Fletcher... who was obsessed with his hair
Fletcher: Still am Valkyrie
Valkyrie: And I once again, saved the whole world
Skulduggery: Actually if I recall, I heroically launched myself at the Faceless one to get it into the portal
Valkyrie: Then I bravely got you back using my wide range of detective skills
Skulduggery: You used a vampire Valkyrie. I wouldn't call that a "detective skill"
Tanith: And Val, to get Skulduggery back you got me and Ghastly arrested.
Valkyrie: A minor inconvenience
Skulduggery: Then that bastard Sanguine and the psychopathic lot showed up and tried to kill 80000 on air
Fletcher: And I saved the day. Using my ultra-special skills
Skulduggery: Right...
Valkyrie: Anyhow... then remnants were loosed upon the world.
Ghastly: And I lost Tanith....
Skulduggery: And Valkyrie thought it was smart to go to Nye to seal her name
Valkyrie: It seemed fine at the time...
Skulduggery: Then the time after was the death bringer wasn't it?
Valkyrie: Where the Necromancers thought that killing half the population was fine as long as the other half was immortal
Skulduggery: Oh and I got to smack Wreath around alot
Valkyrie: Then the Lord Vile stuff happened. And the Darquesse stuff.
Skulduggery: Then Melancholia had a change of heart and didn't want to murder billions anymore
Valkyrie: Then Stephanie happened
Skulduggery: Along with wanna-be sorcerers
Valkyrie: And men who thought they were butterflies
Skulduggery: Then you joined the dead men
Ghastly: Then that f$&@?! Ravel......
Dexter: I never thought Ravel would do that....
Skulduggery: Anyhow we beat the warlocks.
Valkyrie: And Darquesse came.
Skulduggery: The only good thing that came out of her was Ravel's punishment
Skulduggery: Anyhow then Darquesse almost destroyed us all.
Valkyrie: And I was held in a goddamn soul catcher
Skulduggery: Then the Battle of Darquesse
Valkyrie: You're forgetting that I had to tell my parents about magic
Skulduggery: And then you left us and you came back
Valkyrie: I came back and everything has been amazing since
Skulduggery: Hey also remember when I asked you out and you said yes?
Valkyrie: Eh? When was this?
Skulduggery: Right now. Valkyrie Cain will you be my girlfriend?
YOU ARE READING
Skulduggery Pleasant gets Facebook
FanfictionThis is just a funny story about what would happen if the Skulduggery Pleasant characters got facebook. All the characters belong to Derek Landy (the God of writing) It's based after the events of TDOTL DONT READ IF YOU HAVENT READ TDOTL Due to abso...