Newly Written Reviews

Across The Wildlands

Across The Wildlands

Hello. Dante_Greywolf here. Please note this is based on the first five parts (prologue, chapter 1 both parts and chapter 2 both parts). I am not a professional reviewer so I'm doing this based on my experience and gut-feeling. Don't forget, I'm just one opinion.

Cover: 8/10

I wish Wattpad would allow us to see the cover in more detail because this looks like a very interesting cover. The main character (which I presume is Alex) appears surrounded/one with the wildlife around her. She is the light, the bright spot, in the darkness. The cover perfectly enhances the title and the plot.

One point of criticism. Typically, the name of the author is either right at the top or right at the bottom. Right now, all is squeezed together, especially since you also have the awards sticker on top as well.

And a small tip (no points deducted for that) for anyone writing a book series, align the style and font of the entire series. Makes it clearer to the audience that all books belong to one and the same series.

Summary: 6,5/10

The summary starts by describing the world the story takes place. Good job. I can instantly see that this will be a dystopian story, and about a battle against the dominant/absolute Achilles company. I would rewrite the first paragraph slightly, to be more concise and to increase dramatic effect. Don't be afraid to use sentence fragments. Published books use them all the time.

Wars and famine were just the beginning. From the ashes of the old world rose a new order, the Achilles. They demand complete obedience. No more innocence until proven guilty; failure to abide the law results in death.

Then your second and third paragraph are all over the place. It stays a little vague, and not the intriguing kind of vague. Why isn't the responsibility for everyone? Why is Alex the chosen one? (I don't need a full explanation, just a hint as to why they place her fate in her hands) Why does the coup have to wait? Is this what Alex was working on? Do you mean that Alex doesn't want this responsibility?

Ending a summary with a question is old school. Best avoid it.

The Designations have discovered a virus that can cripple the Achilles. But planting the virus isn't for everyone. Alex, a rebel at heart, must bear the responsibility. But any question she asks backfires. Her project, the planning of a large scale coup will have to wait.

Against her will, Alex is sent into the Wildlands, an inhabitable area beyond the cities. The place holds more than answers and she discovers why the Wildlands are so wild.

One final remark: unless the name change is very recent and you want to make your current readers aware of the name change, I would remove this bit. It has no relevance to new readers.

The comparison: Mad Max vs I am Number Four is really good. And based on the chapters I read, a very good comparison, indeed.

Title: 9/10

Simple but well-chosen. Since the journey across the Wildlands is the central part of the plot, it's a good pick. Doesn't blow me away, then again, titles rarely do. 😊

Grammar/Spelling: 8,5/10

The book has been well edited. I couldn't spot any grammar or spelling issues. So instead, I'll use this rubric to dive into the technicalities of writing and point out stuff where you could improve.

Let me start by saying that you write really well. On my first read-through, I ended up reading far more than the first three parts. You know how to write captivating descriptions that make the story come to life and describe the characters' emotions in such a way that they move the reader too.