Jumper - Lando Norris ✔️

5.0

9/9/19- England

Lando arrived home early in the morning, I fell asleep on his couch and woke up for a few minutes as he came home. I fell asleep again almost straight away. 

Upon waking up I noticed him sitting at the end of the couch curled up watching tv quietly. 

"Good morning," I whispered, curling up against him.

"Morning," he smiled softly. He wrapped his arms around me, burying his head in my neck. I kissed his neck as he buried his head deeper into mine.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. I shook my head.

"Fine," I mumbled.

"That was a very loaded fine," He told me.

"I don't really want to talk about it Lando," I spoke, he nodded his head. I could tell he was going to press on anyway.

"Emilia are you sure? It would be more comforting to talk to somebody," He told me. He looked at me, urging me to talk.

I was close to crying as he looked at me. I knew if I talked I'd cry but if I didn't I'd also cry. In the end I just buried my head in his chest and cried. He rubbed my back as I cried, I almost couldn't breathe I was crying so hard. 

"Em, calm down love," He soothed, wiping the tears from my cheeks. He gazed into my eyes before kissing my lips.

"I'm sorry," he spoke .

"It's not your fault, I just miss him. It's funny because I didn't really even know him that well but it just feels like I can't live without him. It hurts Lando," I sobbed as he continued rubbing my back.

Getting through the day was pretty hard, I actually thought I was getting better and coming to terms but then I get worse. Lando being home seemed to make it a little worse.

We just spent the whole day watching Bad Education on Netflix. 

"Do you know if Nova is home from Italy yet?" I asked him, he shook his head.

"Jack is still in Italy but I don't know if Nova went home without him or..." Lando said, I nodded my head in understanding.

We cuddled up closer until he got up to get us something to eat. If I'm honest I wasn't that hungry though.

I ate a small amount, picking at my food.

We didn't really get up then until we decided to go to bed.

I curled up in the covers, facing away from him as silent tears streamed down my cheeks. He must have sensed them because he rolled over and cuddled into me.

"Lando," I whispered.

"Yeah."

"Do you think you'd be able to just talk while I try to go to sleep, I just want to be distracted so I can actually go to sleep?" I asked him, he hummed.

He whispered to me about the race weekend at Monza and about Charles' win. He told me about a stream him and Max Fewtrell were planning on doing, maybe with Callum Illot as well. If Callum is available. 

I slowly started lulling to sleep as he whispered. I fell asleep to him telling me about the stupid things him and Carlos got up to. Carlos was trying to cheer him up. 

But I didn't stay asleep for long, I woke up to soft sobbing. I knew it was Lando but I was unsure how to deal with it.

In the end I turned round to him, wrapping him in my arms as his sobs got louder. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he sobbed. My heart broke and I had to stay quiet for a moment so I could compose myself. I had never seen Lando so sad, he's always the one to cheer me up and seeing him this sad broke me.

"Lando you're grieving, you don't need to apologise," I reassured him.

"Mila, how am I supposed to reassure my parents, Oli and the girls that I'll be okay. I'm so scared, I don't know why I ever decided to drive," he sobbed, beginning to panic.

I sat him up, knowing what he was doing. I'd had many panic attacks to know the signs.

He took short breathes, more tears spilling.

"Lando, sweetie. I want you to take deep breathes, okay. Follow my breathing," I instructed him. Taking deep breaths. 

At first it didn't work as he was too focussed on what he was panicking about. "Lando I need you to follow my breathing, okay," I said again and this time he payed attention.

He calmed down.

"So I want you to tell me what you were thinking about," I told him, he looked at me almost blankly.

Then he started talking, "I don't know, I love driving but I just suddenly thought about you and my family." 

"Is that's why you panicked?" I asked him, he shook his head.

"I was momentarily scared of getting back in the car, that's what panicked me," he explained, I nodded my head.

"Do you feel any better now?" I asked him, he nodded.

"How did you know what to do?" He asked curiously. 

"I've had many panic attacks in my time Lando," I laughed, "Ready to go back to bed then?"

He nodded his head, lying down and cuddling into my neck. I wrapped my leg around him and cuddled into him too.