The Game

Fifty-five

I don't sleep and by the morning I'm struggling to function, it's seven a.m and the remains of the photo of Louis and Liam is on a plate where I burnt it.

I pick up my phone and leave a voice mail at work to say I'm sick, I won't be in for my clients today. In two years i have never had a day off sick. I feel extremely bad for my clients but I've always remembered what Keith said to me 'Self care comes first before anyone else' I need to take today off and have the weekend to give myself some time.

I ring my mum for her to come round and sort Grace out for school quickly explaining on the phone I've had a bad night not telling her the details but my mum is always there for me without having to explain.

I feel so numb, I'm walking around in a daze. My brain feels like it's mush and my muscles ache. I open the door to my mum at half seven and throw my arms around her.

"It's OK, I'll sort Grace out and I'll have her tonight. You have some me time. Go to bed, I'll alarm the house before I leave" she wipes away my tears and I take myself up to my room. Without getting changed I flop onto the bed and fall into a sleep.
---

I jump up when the door unlocks and the boys burst into the room, I cling onto Zara fearing the worse.

"Ladies! Another beautiful day" Louis walks over to us.

"Leave us alone!" We both mutter as we pull the covers higher over our bodies.

"Don't be boring, You're living the dream! Alot of girls would kill to be in your place right now. Living with one direction" Harry snatches the covers of us, leaving us in our small tank tops and shorts.

"Lauren come to me" Harry gestures with his hand for me to get out of bed.

"No" I shake my head.

"Do you want another reminder of what happens when you don't do as your told?" he smirks.

I flinch in pain of the thought of him whipping me across my back again.

"No" I whisper.

"I thought as much, come on baby" he pulls me up out of bed and directs me to his room.

"Harry I'm so done with all of this, just put me out of my misery" I plead.

"You belong to me and I'll tell you when you've had enough" he pushes me onto the bed. I watch as he takes his clothes off, standing infront of me in just his boxers. All his tattoos on show, I once loved them. They even at one point turned me on and I wish I could trace them all with my fingers but now I hate them, I hate him.

"On your hands and knees, presume the dog position" he smiles as a flash of lush flashes through his eyes.

I slowly do as I'm told, closing my eyes I feel him tugging at my clothes until I'm naked in front of him.

"This has got to be the best view in the house, what a lucky man I am" I feel him as his hand strokes my arse.

I clench my eyes shut.
---

I open my eyes in a panic, I sit up in a sweaty mess looking around the room confused and dazed.

"It's just a nightmare" I hold my chest. I rub my face with my hands to rid myself of the memories. I'm shocked as I haven't had a nightmare in nearly three years. I try and relax by reading one of my positivity books Kate brought me not long after I got out. I always keep it in my bedside table. It's a little dusty where I haven't needed it for a very long time. I read a few pages before I start to feel calm. I check my phone and I'm surprised when it's nearly three in the afternoon. I must of needed that sleep, I look through my notifications a few missed calls from work, one message from my mum telling me Grace is fine at school and she'll have her tonight. Another from Beth and five messages from Darren and two missed calls.