Many times I find that I view the world with two different perspectives. If I were to humanize these perspectives I would first idealize one perspective as optimism. On one hand, I will look at every situation carefully and believe morally good outcomes will appear from that situation. On the other, I will look at the same exact situation, and I will demoralize and outcome coming form that situation. On the topic of eating, I am a heavy girl in my opinion. I really love food and I love to eat and I can eat a lot. When I am down, I will not eat that much and I physically feel ill if I eat more than a snack sized proportion in the entirety of that day. Optimistically, I will want to encourage myself to try for some more food as that would be a healthier option. Pessimistically, I'm too damn fat anyway, and I can miss a few meals.
For conversations concerning people, I could totally be thinking that I'm doing the right thing, and be sure of myself. In reality I could be saying the wrong thing, and not fully considering the impact of my word. Before saying anything at all, though, I will believe that I am doing my best, and that I should go forward with what I want to say. All the same, I will talk to myself, and let myself know that anything that comes out of my mouth is idiotic and needs more time to be thought through. Very negative, but positive at the same time, neutral I guess. Not really.
I think I just did it again? I'm not sure.
I'm really good at observing all the things that go on in my head, but I just don't know what anything means.
I do know that I just want to be normal, whatever that may be.
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Summing it up
RandomI really have a lot of words stuck in my head. I rant and talk to many people about many controversial issues,(personal, political, random, etc. )and how I feel about certain topics. When I have no one to talk to, I feel the need to put my thoughts...
