Dead Memories

chapter 1

x-x-x

Chapter One

He spent a year searching for him. A literal year, not an exaggeration. It was not a constant search, being on the road and hunting down leads, of course not, but it was enough time spent to count as a full-time job. Which was why Steve did not expect Sam to dedicate his every waking hour to the cause. Now Steve though... he had time, plenty, he had all the time in the world. And he's been told - repeatedly - by trustworthy sources, that there's never been a more stubborn punk on the face of this Earth than him. A year went by with nothing but glimpses, trails gone cold, and dead Hydra agents, but Steve was nowhere near ready to give up. He wanted to keep going. He was disheartened on some days, desperate on others, sometimes numb, sometimes close to rage, but he was not about to stop. He... couldn't just stop.

The world didn't feel like letting him keep going though.

Not Hydra, not what was left of SHIELD, not the Avengers and the damn Maximoffs... not Ultron.

So here he was. Staring out of the window of his newest characterless apartment, back in DC, again. Months later than he planned to be. Months after any lead would be worth a damn. The faint trail completely gone.

It was a numb day. The sort where he didn't feel like pretending to be anything or anyone. He was just a guy, standing quietly in his mostly empty apartment, being angry at the world and not having the energy to do anything about it. DC was grey outside, the air crisp and the sky cloudy. Perfect weather for his mood. A text from Sam was still waiting to be answered, but Steve knew that he had a few hours before his friend would have enough and just come over.

Steve appreciated his concern even when it frustrated him, especially then. He knew that Sam and DC were kind of a package deal, he could've avoided this, if he wanted to. But it was much better than staying in New York, where he would catch himself staring at the Tower from a distance, where Tony locked himself away like some self-exiled prince from a fairy tale. Not that Steve blamed him... well, no, Steve did blame him for a few things, but there was no point hauling more guilt on his shoulders. He was punishing himself enough. Nobody on this world blamed Tony more than he blamed himself. It was one of the things that made Steve remember that despite everything, he was a good man. Only a good man would do this to themselves.

Natasha gave him a call regularly, updating him about everything in New York. Not just about Tony, but everyone else. Steve always wanted to know how Clint and Bruce were doing, but he was not always interested in what Wanda and Pietro got up to. He was... not really warmed up to them, but he knew Clint and Natasha felt different. And Vision just plain unnerved him in some moments, he couldn't help it, he was working on it.

His phone chirped again, another text, probably from Sam. He sighed and turned away from the window to take a look at it. It was not nice of him, ignoring Sam like this. When he looked down at the screen there was an unknown number there, not just the text from Sam. He opened that first. It contained another unknown number and a short message: "Call back ASAP. N"

Steve dialled and waited.

'Natasha?' he asked immediately. 'What's going on?'

'Not even a "hello"?' Natasha asked in return on the other end of the line.

'Why the secrecy?' Steve asked. 'And hello.'

Natasha did not laugh, but Steve could hear it in her voice that she was smiling.

'Well, I stumbled upon a little something you might be very interested in.'