Dead Memories

26

Chapter Twenty-Six

'This is definitely not a situation where booze is going to help,' Rhodey said.

Tony still pulled the bottle out of the bar fridge and got himself a glass.

'Really?' he asked in return. 'Because I think this is exactly the kind of situation where I deserve to have a damn drink.'

Rhodey put his hand on the top of the glass before Tony could pour his drink out.

'Tony, I mean it,' he said seriously.

'Sure you can have one too, you didn't need to hijack my glass,' Tony said as he picked up another glass and poured right away. Rhodey was doing that face that was somehow between pissed and worried and disappointed... Tony so did not need this right now.

'Look, I know this-'

'No, you don't know, you have absolutely no idea!' Tony cut him off angrily, slamming his glass down on the bar.

'I know that drinking yourself under the table won't help,' Rhodey answered, keeping his calm.

Tony looked away from him, because he really hated that expression on his face. His fingers were tight around his glass, but he didn't lift it just yet.

'I don't want to think about it,' he admitted after a moment of silence. 'And I can't turn my brain off, and there's nothing to distract me, because I'm still a fucking security hazard, and I still feel...' he cut himself off and drowned the glass before Rhodey could stop him, because he deserved a drink goddamit. It was strong, and it burnt as it went down, but Tony was so used to it at this point that he didn't even blink.

Rhodey's face didn't change, but Tony could practically feel him judging him. Yeah, he had only one coping mechanism, so fucking what.

'You gotta give yourself some time here, Tony,' he said then. 'Thor did say the... feelings might linger for a couple more days.'

'He had no clue about how to knock me back in order, but he's suddenly an expert,' Tony grumbled.

'Going from how he said it, I think he knows from experience,' Rhodey said.

Tony went for the bottle again.

'They don't even know if it worked. You... all of you let Loki mess around with my head, and you don't even know for sure if it worked.'

'It will be a non-issue once Amora's taken care of,' Rhodey said. 'And I can stay until then.'

Tony shook his head. He poured another drink, before Rhodey could take away either the glass or the bottle.

'You're gonna be fine, Tony,' he said quietly. 'You feel like shit, I get it, but at least-'

'At least what? I got lucky?' Tony asked, walking away from his friend. 'Lucky that at least I didn't murder anyone? Lucky that I didn't actually kill Clint... or Steve?' Some of his whiskey spilt out as he ranted, the amber liquid sloshing around in the glass. So he drank it. 'Lucky I wasn't fucking raped by a psycho Asgardian... Lucky that she didn't get to parade me around like her newest pet?'