Bella : What ifs are for Us ✔️

Chapter 18: Love Burns

The rest of the month wasn't torture. I had Leah to help me through everything while my baby grew in a rapid pace. People were feeling disgusted by my very presence since I was getting fatter each day. I wondered then what Edward would think of me, had he seen me this way.

My guts wanted to curse at me with anger. But I prevailed. I wouldn't allow it. I could see what my son would become to Leah. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. No way was I giving up yet.

Lounging on the sofa, I was happy to be watching yet another story about crime and punishment when I felt like I peed myself. I didn't want to think about it since I had been drinking more and more water and my bladder might've already collapsed, but the pee was uncontrollable and the scent of disgusting must and some form of lemon.

"Ewwww!" I wrinkled my nose before Leah came by my side in a swift movement. She had been making some chilli cheese fries but now, her face was stricken with absolute horror when she looked up at me with her lime-green eyes.

"You're having a baby!"

I rolled my eyes. "It's just—

"Your water broke."

"Shit!" I said and without another word, Leah helped me get into the bathroom and inside the bathtub. Good thing the hot water was on. Or was it?

"You feeling any contractions?"

I nodded. "No." It was an astonishing thing. I didn't feel anything. Nothing at all. What the heck? Leah looked at me funny.

"A—Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I can't feel a thing..."

Moments passed and I felt pressure below my abdomen and with an odd crunching and tearing sound...

Pain shot through me then. Unbelievable, terrifying, and absolutely gut-wrenching pain. I screamed wanting it all to stop. Leah panicked. I saw the tremor in her hands. She was in shock and nothing snapped her out of it.

I screamed again and then out of nowhere cold and soothing hands gripped on my shoulders. Looking up I felt relieved to see familiar golden eyes on a statuesque face.

"Push." He told me and before I knew it, I was breathing again.

I pushed, screaming and crying all the way. It was tough but Leah was with me once more cheering me on.

"You've got this, Bella."

"Almost there, sweetie."

Almost there...

I'm almost there! Giving one last push, my body reached an absolute exhaustion point. I felt the nothing but I heard everything. The baby's cries. Edward's kisses. Leah's emotional gurgle.

I heard it all...till darkness swam in my vision and before I knew it, I was out.

****

Edward...

"No, no, no..."

Scuffle. Something snapping.

"Bella, love?" Cold sensation. Gentle caress. "Please, wake up! Please!"

"The bleeding's not stopping!" A hiss and something heating.

Edward!

"Shit!"

Crooning. Soft noises.

B—baby!

Swimming through the throngs of dead weight and dark numbing sensation, I make myself open my eyes. It's blurring. The world is jarring.

I don't have time for this!

"B—baby!"

Someone gives me a heavy weight and its lemony scent soothes my soul. I look into it. Deep dark eyes with curly brown hair. There are hints of auburn in his irises as well as blonde and grey.

He's crooning again. My heart flutters.

"She's bleeding again!" A hushed voice but I don't give a damn. I have the person who was the main reason for my struggle. My son. My baby.

I wanted to name him something that's speak for the soothing nature he has. Something that'd make him powerful, fresh, vibrant, and so full of life that I saw at this moment, deep within his eyes.

"Nathaniel Swan."

I said finally with my breath hitching. His freshness, his vibrancy, his gifted eyes look into mine. Then he snuggles close to me and—

No, no, no!

Drowning darkness. Numb sensation with a narcotic undertone.

My baby! No!

I cry in frustration. Give me back my baby! Give him back to me!

But nothing matters. The unyielding nature of the darkness makes me bend and crumble. It is then I understand what will happen now.

I'll die.

And that's...okay.

I smile. At least, I had Nathaniel. Leah would protect him as would Edward. I saw the sweetness my dear son has. He'd survive. And with it, I leave him, with what I could as a gift. His life for mine. A fair exchange.

I just hoped I'd see Edward once more.

But such was the nature of life and death. Not more than you have. Not less than what you're owed. I smile and allow the darkness drift me away. No reason to fight, I'm okay and happy. I fear what will happen. Still, I have lived a good life and I think, I'm ready.

I love you Edward. Take care of Thaniel for me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~🥀~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been an eventful chapter. I just hope everything works out for Bella in the end. Even if she does die. 😉

But so far I think we'll have to keep at it. Thanks to everyone who supports me and to my followers who are so generous enough to have made us hit 1K just yesterday! 

THANK YOU!

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