Your Hand Inside Mine

Chapter 16

"The answer is always yes." I repeated, my voice steadfast in its meaning. I took a hand off the wheel and placed it on the console, where Lynn's hand was already waiting for mine. Her fingers enclosed mine, twisted up like barbed wire, but maybe just a little more romantic. Her fingers were so long, spindly, warm, and most importantly, soft. Like softer than a kitten's head. That's how soft.

We drove just like that for about seven minutes. Seven minutes of my heart rattling in my chest and my hands quivering like hell. Lynn didn't notice, or did she? Maybe, because she did reach over with her other hand and sat it on top of mine. Now it was like a blanket covering a newborn child. Safe. Coveted. Loved even.

I saw my house and got very warm inside. It was impossible to be happier at this given moment. We pulled in to my driveway slowly. You could hear a pin drop it was so deathly quiet. Sitting in my car with Lynn was soothing. She made me feel like I was on drugs when I was with her. Like nothing could touch us, nothing was real except us. We. Me and her. Her and I. Lynn and Alexa.

I fell in love with a girl at the rock show. How cliché right? But seriously, was this going to turn into something filled with emotion and love and happiness? It's like it was too good to be true. Please let me be wrong.
I felt Lynn's hands go away a few minutes ago, but I didn't realize. They were now on either side of my face, and her eyes were staring into mine. They were misty and a little red. I did that. I made her cry. I made Lynn Gunn cry. W-w-why am I such an awful person?

"Alexa are you okay? Alexa please. Alexa be okay. Please be okay. I don't know what's going on why are you just looking at me? She sniffled, and I saw it. A tear running down her cheek.

"No no no no babe please don't cry I'm just thing really hard okay? I'm very happy right now and I don't want it to end. I feel like, it's too good. I can't get enough. You're like, like a drug to me. You make me feel like I'm needed and appreciated and no one has ever looked at me like you do." Babe? Woah. Okay Alexa. I wiped the tear away, and she leaned out of her seat so that her head was resting against my hand.

"Really?" She started to say, breathing in air once again.

"I'm scared Alexa. I'm so fucking scared. I saw you play and I knew that I had to be with you. I had to hold you. I had to kiss you. It's happening so fast but I know it's real. It's so real it's making me nauseous. The thought of having to leave your side makes me want to throw up. That isn't normal is it? And neither am I. Just a screw up who fell too fast." So much. I feel everything she said and it resonated deep in my brain. I just wanted to sleep more than anything. Her in my home, it was a comforting thought. She would be safe. Nothing would hurt her. I refused to believe that notion.

"Let's go inside Lynn. This is making me feel a lot of things, and sadly one of them is tired as hell. That show really took it out of me." I kissed her hand, once, twice, thrice, and threw it back at her. She laughed.
Oh it's so good to hear that again. A small smile formed on her face.

"Let's go Alexa. I'm tired as hell too."