demons and angels { g-eazy }

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g-eazy

Being alone was never a problem

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Being alone was never a problem. It didn't scare me like it does other people; the fear of having no one in this big old world.
I was fine with it.

I never figured out why.

It might've had something to do with the fact that I've practically been alone my whole life. My mom bailed when I was 5 and my father worked three jobs in order to take care of me; and I'll always be grateful for that. He was just never there.
You can't have your cake and eat it too.
I guess it's true.

That's probably why my social skills remained undeveloped until I got into college; and even then I was more of a lone wolf rather than a pack animal. I had boyfriends but it never worked out. They all judged my introverted ways but the truth was, none of them seemed worth opening up to. They didn't understand me.

I graduated and got my first job, rented a small apartment in the city and actually started spending some quality time with my dad; he even helped me with my living situation and bought me my first plant - a small ficus, a living thing depending of me.
Life was going alright.

Then I met Gerald.
It was awkward, which is my signature, really. I was on a lunch break so I decided to grab coffee and a donut, since I have been craving sweets for a week. Our orders got mixed up and as if that wasn't enough, I tripped and spilled my coffee all over his white shirt and blazer. While wanting to die, wishing the earth would open up and swallow me down, he laughed it off and helped me up.

"Relax, I got five more of these in my office."

I was only capable of a very sour smile, embarrassingly readjusting my skirt.

"I'm so sorry, please forgive me..."

He just waived it off and introduced himself. Gerald Earl Gillum.

He was an attorney, working at his father's office just a few blocks down. I shook his hand and then joined him at one of the tables where we enjoyed our coffee and a donut in peace.

Needless to say, my life changed right away.

Gerald is young and successful, he worked hard to achieve that greatness and it's a quality I always appreciated in people. There are other traits to him as well; honesty and the fact that he has manners, knows how to treat a woman and is a perfect gentleman.

But underneath all that lies something mysteriously dark. He's had his fair share of pain and he learned to mask and conceal it. Seeming very collected, no one would actually suspect it.
But I saw it when he let me.

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