Anxiety - Kuroken

Chapter 9

Its been a year and a half since I last updated and I don't remember where I was going with this 🙃

Back home from the hospital and sterile beds and all too cheerful nurses, I was hoping, praying, to find some peace or isolation away from everyone and everything so that I could clear my head, maybe get some gaming done, but no.

Oh no.

I can hear my mother ranting, slamming, banging all the cupboards, doors and drawers. Its loud. It's my fault, she doesn't need me being a problem and getting in her way and taking up her time. The one cupboard doesn't have a handle anymore.

I hate it.

Kuroo isn't here, I shouldn't rely on him so much but it would be nice to have someone to cuddle right now. Have his warm hands stroke my hair and probably be curled up on his lap, perhaps borrow his hoodie or enjoy the scent of his sh-I'm rambling to myself.

She's storming upstairs.

The door swings open (for lack of any locks to keep it shut) allowing my mother in my space, with my stuff and all my safety. She comes too close and I can smell the wine she's been guzzling since noon, maybe earlier.

"You selfish little boy. I had to take time out of my day because of your self-centered actions. Do you ever think about anyone except youself?! There will be no dinner for you. And you can forget about seeing that boy any time soon."

"But-"

"But nothing! Stop crying. You're pathetic. No wonder no one likes you."

My face burns, my cheeks wet. It's all my fault. I need to behave better and think more about other people. Leave them alone because they don't need me. They never needed me. Never will.

She's gone now.

Back downstairs.

Should I call Kuroo? No. He doesn't need me getting in his way. Stopping him from being happy and having friends which are all far better than me, 1000%.

Wow. My writing is getting worse and worse 🙃