1981 » The Marauders Era

eight ; sleepless nights

It had been weeks since Lily and James had properly left their cottage in Godric's Hollow. They had been given strict orders from Professor Dumbledore to stay out of sight, but it was unclear for how long. This war was proving to be a struggle, a much more psychological struggle than they could have ever conceivably imagined.

Lily sat at the kitchen table, attempting to stay awake after days of sleepless nights. She was re-reading letters that she had found after deciding to sort out the office on one boring day that week. Thinking of her friends was one of the only things that kept her together. That and Harry.

James was reading 'Babbitty Rabbitty and her Cackling Stump' to him, when Lily walked into the living room. She smiled at the innocent sight.
"See Hazza, this is what daddy is," James spoke softly to Harry, "Animagus, can you say that? Animagus."

Lily laughed as she watched. Harry immediately threw his arms in the air and said 'mama' as he saw his mother standing in the doorway. By instinct, Lily picked up Harry from James' lap and held him.

She bounced Harry as she tiredly paced around the living room. Someone from outside their house caught Lily's eye, she paused. James noticed the disturbance and looked out of the window himself at the figure walking slowly along the street. Lily sighed as she realised it was just the fragile, old women who lived a couple of doors down.

She wore a dark, stylish cloak and a matching hat.
"Merlin, she's still alive then."
"James!" Lily replied, rolling her eyes. "As a matter of fact, yes she is. While you were asleep last Sunday she paid a visit and you wouldn't think it but she's very chatty," James raised an eyebrow at her. "Yes, she had a lot to say. Mostly about Dumbledore, though I don't know how much to believe." Lily said, still watching the old lady as she turned the corner.

↠—↞

Later that evening a knock from the front door caused a slight panic for the young couple. Any slight circumstance turned into what felt like a life or death situation. They were constantly on edge.

James raced to the front door, as Lily had taken Harry into the kitchen. Luckily, it was another false alarm. Peter, his hair darkened from grease and his eyes from insomnia, stood as James hugged him tightly. James hadn't seen any of the other Marauders for weeks, surprisingly the first to visit was Wormtail.

Lily gazed through the half-open kitchen door. James and Peter walked over to her, with James' large arm still hung around Peter. "It's just Wormie, Lil," he said, smiling so brightly.

Lily nodded, at Peter then turned to James and whispered, "I thought Dumbledore said we couldn't have visitors." James frowned immediately. He opened his mouth to say something back when Peter stepped in,
"Actually, Dumbledore said I should come over." The couple broke their intense eye contact and turned to Peter. "Really? What for?" James said quickly, hoping it was news that they were free from being trapped on house arrest.
"Well it's been decided that I'm your new secret keeper," Peter said, carefully. "It was actually Sirius' idea to begin with. I think with everything that happened with Marlene, he just needs a break." Lily nodded her head. James smiled faintly at Peter before pulling him into another hug. Peter awkwardly puts his arms around James.
"Thanks mate, I really owe you one." James said.

↠—↞

Walking in the dusky night, with rain soaking his clothes, Peter stopped next to a street lamp. He had an urge to pull up his sleeve and look at the ink engraved into his forearm. The bright light from the street lamp shone on his dark tattoo. He looked at it, scared, and shut his eyes tightly, thinking of what James had said to him. Tears escaped his eyes as he looked back at the tattoo and thought to himself. Why am I doing this? Why can't I just tell James and he can help me, like he always used to do. He held onto his forearm with his other hand and screamed.

Afraid and outcast. It was too late to turn back now, though.

"Not coping well, Pettigrew?" said a voice from behind Peter. He turned quickly and saw a tall, slim figure in a dark cloak. Severus stepped closer. "What do you want?" Peter snapped, tears running down his face. Severus noticed his emotion and stood still, almost repulsed. "H-how did it get to this?" he asked, desperately.
Severus stared at him, and shocked Peter as he said, "We lost our way..."

"I have to get to Lord Voldemort, now!" Peter shouted. His demeanour changed suddenly. "Where is he?!" he shouted, walking towards Severus, who was visibly uncomfortable.
"Malfoy Manor... For what reason must you speak to him now?" he replied.

Peter looked up to him. What could he say? How would he react? Even for Severus, what Peter was about to do was unforgivable.
"I just, I want this whole thing to be over. And the quicker, the better," Peter said angrily. "They won't let me go." he whispered, standing in the dead of night.