Spoby Song-Shots

1 • Breathe

A drop-out. She couldn't handle the horrendous phrase but she also couldn't handle the immense pressure on her.

Spencer had always thrived on stress and pressure but now, without Toby, she couldn't do it.

In high school it was fine, Toby was with her. He was her support but now he was states away.

To Spencer it felt like worlds away, and she missed him more than anything.

She couldn't stay- her depression levels had risen and she had considered going back to the pills that had been her downfall twice.

She hadn't taken them because of the promise she'd made to him, when she felt like taking them she just called him instead.

He made her feel safe and happy even when they were so far apart.

Spencer left. She flew back to Philadelphia and got a taxi to Rosewood.

No one knew she was coming back- not even Toby.

She couldn't deal with the humiliation, she was a Hastings, and that meant she was supposed to be perfect.

But there she was, walking through Rosewood before facing her parents.

"This is my street, I smile at the faces
I've known all my life, they regard me with pride."

She could feel their eyes staring into her, everyone in town thought she was a perfect, model child.

"And everyone's sweet, They say "You're going places!""

Georgetown, not the family Alma Mater but still Ivy League, no one had ever expected anything less from a Hastings.

"So how can I say that while I was away, I had so much to hide..."

She couldn't tell her parents about the almost-relapse. That was a secret she would hug to herself for now.

"Hey guys it's me! The biggest disappointment you know..."

She could imagine the look on her parents faces' now, and it filled her with dread. They had never seen her as Melissa's equal but now, it would be like she wasn't worth the family name.

"The kid couldn't hack it, she's back and she's walking real slow..."

Spencer could almost hear the town whispering about her, feel the disappointment and unwanted sympathy in the looks they gave her and she walked through the town, delaying her destiny.

"Welcome home,"

She thought to herself.

"Just, breathe..."

It's what Toby always told her to do when she felt overwhelmed.

"They don't worry about me, they're all counting on me to succeed"

The thoughts flew around her mind. She felt like a failure. Everyone always expected her to be the best. And now she wasn't.

"I am the one who made it out."

Spencer had been so relieved to move far from her seriously screwed up family. It used to make her glad she hadn't got into UPenn.

"The one who always made the grade, but maybe I should've just stayed home."

She now wished she had gone to UPenn, she felt like a reject, an outcast. She used to be everyone's ideal child, now she was disappointment.

"When I was a child I stayed wide awake."

Spencer remembered her problems sleeping as a child, worrying for her future. Now her nightmares had come true, once again her heart sunk.

"Climbed to the highest place"

Lookout point had always been her and Toby's favourite spot for dates, she felt powerful up there, watching over Rosewood as though she were its queen.

"On every fire escape."

Toby's loft, the little safe place at the top of the fire escape from the back of the Brew, it made her happy just thinking about the amazing memories they had shared there.

"Restless to climb"

Spencer had always been an overachiever, always wanting to move onto the next thing. Where had that got her?

"How do I tell them why, I'm coming back home, with my eyes on, the horizon..."

She still had no idea, as she neared her parents, how on Earth she was going to tell them that she'd dropped out, no plans, no degree and not much hope.

"Straighten the spine, smile for the neighbours, everything's fine, everything's cool."

This was something Spencer was very used to convincing herself of. She had quite the knack for pretending to the people around her that everything was just perfect.

"The standard reply, lots of tests, lots of papers!"

That's all she could say to them, don't tell them the truth, don't tell them a lie.

"Smile, wave goodbye and pray to the sky, Oh God! What will my parents say? Can I go in there and say, I know i'm letting you down..."

Panic began to overwhelm her as she turned down the road, nearing the large Hastings house, her heart in her mouth with every step she took that took her closer to her fate.

"Spencer?"

Spencer turned around and saw him, a smile immediately formed on her tired face and she ran to him, Toby opened his arms and she leapt into them, feeling at ease once again.

"Just... Breathe."

Hey guys! This one-shot is a song fic- on the song "Breathe" from the musical "In The Heights" all the words in italics are lyrics. "In The Heights" is written by Lin Manuel Miranda (who wrote Hamilton😉) If you don't know it i highly recommend listening to it!❤️.