Spoby Song-Shots

6 • You Matter To Me

Both of them knew that what they were doing was highly immoral. They shouldn't be doing this and if it got out multiple people would be hurt. But for some unknown reason they couldn't stop. They loved each other. It was the wrong place and it was the wrong time but they did.

Spencer Hastings had got married straight out of high school to Alex Santiago. Her father was abusive, her mother couldn't care less about what she did or didn't do. Alex was the only one who really saw and understood her. Until he didn't.

Toby Cavanaugh had been married a couple of years. His wife Yvonne was a lobbyist and they'd had to move a few times because of her work. Toby was fine with it, he could get work anywhere doing carpentry but he didn't like the fact he was never there long enough to make any friends.

That was until he and Yvonne moved to a small town in Pennsylvania called Rosewood. It wasn't too far from New York or Philadelphia so Yvonne could work in the city whilst also enjoying a small town community.

Toby was still kind of getting his bearings around the place and one day, when he finished work a little earlier than expected, he decided to drive up to what was apparently the nicest view in Rosewood - Lookout Point.

He parked his tan coloured truck at the top, next to a pretty expensive looking sleek black car and he climbed out.

There was a girl, well a woman really, sitting on one of the logs which overlooked the town.

Toby shuffled awkwardly for a moment, wondering whether to go up to her and talk or just stay where we was.

"Why not?" Toby thought. "I need to make some friends if this move works out."

He made his way over quietly, not wanting to disturb the woman's peace.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, causing the woman to jump and clutch at her chest.

"Oh God, you scared me! But yeah sure, take a seat." She responded, smiling at him.

Toby liked that smile and he settled down beside her before holding out his hand

"Toby Cavanaugh." he said.

"Spencer Santiago." she responded, taking his hand and shaking it.

That's how it started. Innocently enough but from the day both of them knew that they had a connection and although they knew it was wrong, they didn't want to ignore it.

They both tried to kid themselves that the coffee dates and meet ups at Lookout Point were all completely platonic until Spencer visited Toby in his workshop one day, bringing him the coffee she'd gotten to know was his favourite and they'd ended up having sex on his workbench.

This kind of thing continued for a while. Visiting each other during work breaks, phone calls while their respective spouses were still at work and physical connection neither of them had felt in a long time.

For the first time since she'd agreed to marry Alex, Spencer felt like she actually mattered to someone. 

It was a Monday afternoon when Spencer and Toby were back at Lookout Point both sat on the log with his arm around her when she asked him that question.

"Toby?" she began uncertainly.

"Yeah Spence?" he encouraged gently, dropping a kiss onto her shoulder.

"Do you love me?" she asked. Since her marriage with Alex had begun to crack she felt pretty insecure about herself.

"Yes gorgeous, I do love you." answered Toby.

Spencer's next question broke his heart.

"Why?" she questioned, her voice full of insecurity.

Toby pulled his arm away from her and turned her so they were facing each other. He looked deeply into her eyes before saying "I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes
They've seen things you never quite say but I hear" Toby said, gently caressing Spencer's cheek smiling when she nuzzled into him softly.

Come out of hiding, I'm right here beside you
And I'll stay here as long as you'll let me.
He continued genuinely, pushing her chin up to make her eyes meet his before leaning in and gently pecking her lips.

Because you matter to me,
Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody
You matter to me
I promise you do you
You matter too
I promise you do
You'll see
You matter to me
He finished sweetly. Their situation may not be simple, after all what was harder than 2 married people falling in love with someone who wasn't their spouse, but one thing in both Spencer and Toby's lives was simple: they loved each other. A straight line connection which should be twisted but wasn't, pure, simple love. Everything Toby was saying was true, Spencer mattered to him. He cared about even the smallest things in a way he had never cared about his wife. In his head he knew he should feel guilty but his heart laughed. Spencer was what he cared about.

It's addictive you let yourself think
The things that I say just might matter to someone
Spencer responded, moving closer to Toby and tucking herself under his arm, looking back over the town as she snuggled into his side. This feeling was new to her, for so long now it had felt like Alex couldn't care less about anything that she said or did. With Toby it was different and she just couldn't get enough, to have someone who really saw her and cared was something she never wanted to let go of.

All of this time I've been keeping my mind on the running away
And for the first time I think
I'd consider the stay
That was something else that was kept between her and Toby. The reason she had been alone on that long at Lookout Point the day they met was because she was planning to run away that night. But after meeting Toby the voice in the back of her head convinced her to stay. She hadn't known why at the time, something about that kind, ocean eyes stranger kept her there.

Because you matter to me, simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody
You matter to me,
I promise you do, you
Come out of hiding I'm right here beside you As long as you'll have me
You matter too
I promise you do
You matter to me
You'll see...
She promised him, using his words from earlier. They could be their most real selves with each other and that was everything. Everything in both their lives was confusing and difficult but here, they were just Spencer and Toby and they didn't need to hide anything from each other.

You matter to me
Spencer finished, turning her head to face Toby's and gently pulling his lips to hers.

Maybe the love between was immoral and badly timed and painful in the long run but in that moment it was okay. They mattered to each other. And at least for right now, that's all that they could need.