No Touching Allowed (mxm)

5

"I'l be completely frank with you Zach, I have spent my life learning how to Incorporate this phobia around everything, my life Is very routine and boring but that Is how I have liked It. Paying the escort service was not about getting someone to touch me or losing my virginity or anything like that, I just basically wanted to find out for sure If I was gay, you know seeing a real naked man up close and all that. I just did not expect In the process of me finding out my sexuality to meet someone that I really just wanted to fucking grab hold of and touch every fucking part of him, and let him do the same to me, It shocked me to my core so to speak. You're the first person that has made me hate and regret what I have allowed my life and myself to become, and made me realize what a miserable fucking lonely joke my whole life Is. I saw doctors and councilors for years but resigned to never been healed a few years ago, because there was just no motivation to try fight It anymore, that was until the minute I saw you. I understand you're not gay so this must be weird for you, you know letting some fucked up weirdo try and touch you and all that, but try and see It from a doctor patient kind of perspective It might make It easier. I don't expect nothing else from you, of course I would love well I fucking wish you where gay but we don't always get what we want sadly. So anyway that Is the reason why I know for sure without a doubt that you are the right person to help me."

"That's heavy, you would never know all of that by looking at you, you look so confident and happy most of the time."

"I have learnt to adapt, and I have learnt to hide It, you have to In a dog eat dog world."

"Well you have done brilliantly with everything you have achieved."

"Maybe but this all means nothing really In the bigger picture of things. I threw myself Into work learning everything I could and was a millionaire by the time I was 20, yeah my net worth has grown a lot but so has my phobia. It's easy to forget about the root cause of things when you're rich enough to have distractions around you to mask the problem. And that Is what I have done, surrounded myself In luxury so I don't have to face It, but I want to face It, what Is the point In existing If I can't stand the touch of a person, I want to feel them, I want to love them and be loved, I want to share my whole fucking life with them."

"So If you don't mind me asking what Is the root cause, what triggered It?" Zach asked.

"Okay well we have already agreed to be honest with each other so I will tell you the truth. My uncle was a sexual predator he done stuff to me when I was 13, he never raped me but he would touch me and force me to touch him, and let some of his friends touch me. This went on for 2 years, my parents never believed me, but they actually knew what was happening the whole time. Luckily he got caught doing It to another child and was sent to prison. My parents still choose to stand by him even to this day."

"What the hell that's so fucked up, so why do you still give them money?"

"Because....." Adrian hesitated.

"Tell me Adrian, I need to know why."

"Because they blackmail me, they keep threatening.......fuck."

"Hey calm down just take a deep breath and tell me, I'm here to help you remember."

"They have pictures Zach, pictures of me with my uncle when he was doing things to me, they keep threatening to expose them, so as long as they get money off me I'm fine."

"That Is so...fucked up, I don't even know what to say, but what they are doing to you Is fucking Illegal. I can't believe your own parents would do that, they are just as fucking guilty as your uncle, I fucking hate pedophiles. I hope you know you can't let this go on right?"

"I don't know what else to do, I can't let them expose the pictures I would rather be fucking dead."

"Don't ever fucking say that to me, I'm here now to help, I know we don't really know each other but this shit Is so fucking wrong. From what I've seen and heard not that I'm an expert or professional or anything, but It looks like your phobia makes you vulnerable and weak, sorry no offence. If you were stronger and healed you would not be saying that shit, you would be fighting It. I am going to make you a promise but you have to agree with It totally otherwise there Is no point me been here at all."