Meant for Me | ✔️

18) into the past

Sunday 26th of August.

A D D I E

Zac was watching a movie in the living room when I found. He was with Willa and I could tell that his focus was elsewhere. She was watching something in black and white. I might have sat down and asked her to tell me what it was about if I hadn't been so distracted with nerves of telling Zac the truth.

Still, my gaze lingered on the sweet little girl. Beautiful. My heart seemed to hammer whenever I looked at her now. Disbelief that I'd ended up here. Sadness that I hadn't been strong enough to keep her. Grateful that she'd been placed in such a loving family. That was what triumphed all else. I couldn't be more relieved to finally know that she was safe. I'd been wondering ever since I let her go.

"You alright?"

Zac's voice startled me and I looked at him, sitting relaxed and casual with his arm across the back of the sofa. I nodded.

"Can we talk for a minute?"

He must have heard the tremble in my voice because his brows pinched and he stood up, fast. "Of course. Will, I'll be outside. Keep watching the movie."

"Yep."

I followed Zac outside, we passed Raine as she was heading in and I saw a glimpse of her supportive smile. I thought that Zac would stop on the deck. But he didn't. We kept walking until we came to his shed and he pushed the door open before walking up to the hood of a car and leaning on it. He pulled me between his spread legs and held me at the waist.

"What's going on?"

"I just— I need to tell you something. About me. It's part of— part of who I am. My past."

He nodded and gave me his full attention. "I'm listening."

I took a deep breath and then I stared. Right from the beginning.

August 30th . 2008.

Another text blipped on my phone and I knew who it would be before I read the name across the top. Margo.

Come home to celebrate the end of summer, Addie. We're having a good time. I'll even let you have a glass of champagne.

Margo thought that I was at a sleepover with Kelsey. Which, wasn't a total lie. We were together. But we were at her big brother's end of summer celebration with a bunch of senior students from the high school. A lot of them were looking at us with side on glances, judgment. We'd dressed up but it would have been obvious that we were too young to be here.

Even in my halter neck dress that sat at the thighs and wedge heels.

It wasn't that I was mad at Margo and didn't want to spend time with her while she tried to step into the role of being a parent, I just didn't want to be at home. I hated it at home right now. Reminders of mom and dad were all over the house. Their scent still lingered and their footsteps still echoed in the halls. I couldn't stand it.

Margo promised me that we'd move soon. In the mean time, I avoided those walls as often as possible.

Kelsey fell into the old sunken couch beside me. I could feel the springs and it smelt like stale alcohol. She handed me a bottle of vodka and threw her platinum blonde hair behind her shoulder. Kelsey and I hadn't run in the same circle until recently. She hung out with older kids, she had big boobs and an overall womanly figure and due to that fact alone, she appeared more mature than a lot of the other girls in our grade.