My Army Wife, My Idol Life

Space

         A couple days later, Jungkook was doing much better and even started singing a bit when his pain killers kicked in, and while he was no where near being back to his previous mental state, he hid it well to avoid awkward conversations that he just couldn't bring himself to have with anyone.

Although he hid it well, his frustration did every now and then come out as irritation. "How are we going to go on a vacation together? I mean, I can't even piss without everyone knowing about it." He rolled his eyes as he whined to his wife.

"I've already thought about that, we will go to the airport in separate cars, get on the plane separately, and then the place we are going is very secluded, so no one will know we are there."

"Secluded?" He asked, tapping his finger on his chin, "I would love somewhere secluded, but does such a place exist?" He joked with her.

She turned around while stuffing some things in her bag, "Are you ready? Do you need to go to the bathroom or anything?" She asked him, continuing to shove items she thought she might need into her bag.

He got up off of the bed a little faster than before now that he was healing, "Yeah, I'm ready, relax, I know how this works, I've literally been everywhere."

He picked up some of the luggage and she immediately took one of them from him, feeling he was trying to be macho but wasn't healed enough to do so.

He looked at her and shrugged his shoulders but on the inside he felt insulted. He had been feeling like a big baby recently, and the way she was treating him didn't make it any better. He was supposed to take care of her, not the other way around.

Just in the past several days she had tried to feed him, pull his pants up for him, and wouldn't let him take care of anything around the house. He didn't necessarily mind not cleaning, but he was going stir crazy and she was practically forcing him to stay in the bed.

As they boarded the flight separately, he felt a little relieved to be in public again, where she couldn't treat him like a child or baby him. He found his seat quickly and ignored the whispers he heard around him.

He laid back in his seat and pulled out his cellphone, scrolling through pictures of his daughter, missing her already.

*Hours and hours later*

Y/N arrived at the cabin before him and immediately pulled out her phone to call him to see where he was as she was sure he had left the airport before her. She got no answer but didn't freak out just yet, she figured maybe they got behind in traffic or something.

She went into the cabin and the driver helped her carry in the luggage and the things she had him pick up from the store for them before they landed.

After she had put all the food and items away she peeked out of the window, seeing no sign of Jungkook. She called him once more and still got no answer, but as soon as she hung up, she got a text from him.

Jungkook: I'm sorry baby. I'm not coming, please don't be mad.

Y/N: What? What do you mean you aren't coming? This vacation was for you!

Jungkook: I know, I just didn't have the heart to tell you before. I'm at a hotel, I just need a little while to think first, okay?

Y/N: Think about what?

Jungkook: Everything

Y/N: You can't think with me around?

Jungkook: I don't want to hurt your feelings, I love you, but I need some space.

Y/N: Space? From me? Is this about us?

Jungkook: I don't know. I'm just confused and need to think.

Y/N: You're scaring me, are you serious? I respect your need for space, but can you at least keep in touch? Let me know what's going on?

Jungkook laid the phone down on the table and ran his fingers through his hair, feeling a mix of incredible guilt for what he did to Y/N and freedom for the first time. He couldn't reply, he really didn't know and having to tell her and worry about both of their feelings was stressing him out beyond belief.

He put his headphones in and turned his music up loud, staring out of the window at a few random people doing regular people things. Not being hindered by stab wounds, not losing themselves to their traumatic experiences, and most certainly not being watched with a magnifying glass by seemingly the whole world.

A million "why's" floated around in his head, but not a single answer was found. It felt like just yesterday he was on top of the world, he had it all and then some. Now, all he saw in the mirror was a has been. A completely fucked up has been. One with puffy cheeks, wrapped in bandages covering wounds that have marked him forever, and a husband and father unable to do his job, but he wasn't completely giving up. He had made it through this far, and if he was good at literally nothing else in his entire life, being stubborn was it.

He twisted his body suddenly, in tune with the beat, and continued dancing until the pain completely overcame him. He sat down on a chair, breathing heavily and holding his side, tears stinging his eyes. He wanted so badly to continue, to let the music take control of his body as it always did, to prove to himself that he could still take back his life, but life wasn't cooperating with him.

~ ~

Y/N angrily threw her phone down on the bed after sending more texts to Jungkook and getting no answer, her breathing out of control as she stomped around, unable to release her emotions. She had only been helping him, protecting him, since day one. Living for him, putting his needs first, keeping quiet about her own fears and problems while he worked through his; only to be completely shut out by him. What frustrated her more was the incredible guilt she felt for being angry at him. He had a far worse experience than she could ever imagine, and here she was livid that he refused to talk to her, but wasn't she allowed to be mad? Couldn't she have feelings about it too?

She screamed out loud and kicked the mattress, tears filling her eyes as an uncomfortable throbbing started in her head, when an idea popped into her head: Namjoon can help.

She quickly dialed his number and he answered on the first ring, as expected.

"Namjoon, thank god! Jungkook never came to the cabin, he's staying somewhere else and told me he needs space, now he won't respond! I don't know what to do.....I'm so lost."

"Okay, shhh....calm down, don't cry....we can figure this out, okay? I kind of figured something like this would happen so I used some emergency time to take off work and followed him....believe me, getting time off wasn't easy and I may be fired when I get back. But he's okay for now....we actually aren't too far from you."

"Thank you, you're so smart, I wish I had seen this coming like you....I'm just so scared, and I'm so mad at him! And I feel bad for it too!"

"Don't feel bad, none of this is your fault and you have been doing great....he's having a hard time, but it's expected, and we can get him through it, but for now....I think you need to relax and enjoy your time away from him....me too. I promise everything will be fine....but honestly I could use a drink." He laughed into the phone, "Why don't you pretty yourself up and I'll take you somewhere?"

Y/N sniffled, "I could definitely use a drank too, I guess.....thank you, Namjoon."

While she had no romantic feelings for Namjoon, she did feel giddy about going out after she took his advice and pushed all her troubles to the back of her mind. Tonight she was going to be herself again, not Jungkook's wife, not a mother, just Y/N.
She put one of her best dresses on, heels, and curled her hair. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled, seeing the same face from long ago.

Yes, Y/N....enjoy your time as you again.

She had been so caught up in his life she forgot, it's her life too. Not that any of it was his fault, but she started to realize that she needed space too.

Hey hey! Wow, is this really going downhill for them? Waaaaah! Please comment and let me know what you think! Thank you in advance!