Falling Away with You (Belldom)

I want the peace and joy in your mind (part 15)

Dom's POV

I was back sitting on the couch, alone.
Chris wasn't back yet and I presume Matt and Benjamin where still in Matt's room.
I felt slightly bad for yelling at Matt, I was just really jealous and overcome by emotions.
Maybe I should apologise to him? Eh I don't know.
Matt and Benjamin came back into the room and sat down on the other couch, Matt shot an annoyed look at me and Benjamin looked at me awkwardly for a second.
We sat there in silence for a while.
Finally Chris came back.

"Chicken wings, again?" I asked.
"Ehh just like the old days right?" Said Chris sheepishly.
"I hope you're not vegan or anything...sorry I guess I forgot to ask..." he said to Benjamin
"Don't worry I'm not."
"Phew."
Then we all sat around eating chicken wings, Benjamin, Matt and Chris chatted a little bit, I pretended to be distracted by my phone.

A few hours later, Matt suggested we went for a walk.
It was slightly cold outside, Matt and Benjamin walked along the street in front of Chris and I, Matt looked slightly cold.

Matt's POV

I shivered in the cool evening breeze, I always forget to bring a jacket.
Benjamin had a long black jacket and a grey sweater, he looked over at me.
"Do you want my sweater?"
"I mean, only if you don't mind..."
He took off his sweater and handed it to me, and placed his long black jacket around his shoulders.
I could feel Dom's eyes burning into me.
Why couldn't he just be happy for me?
Sure I still wanted to be with him but I doubt he would ever want to be with me.
We walked along the streets for some more time, Benjamin turned to me and said "You know Matt, the streets of London are dangerous at night...we should head back."
I felt a shiver run down my spine. It was true, I had heard about a lot of knife crime in London.
I announced to Dom and Chris that we would be heading back.
On the way back I felt slightly scared, sure nothing would happen because we were in a group and Chris was like 6'1 so hopefully none would intimidate us.
"Are you scared Matt?"
"What, no of course not."
"It's ok to be scared Matt."
Benjamin then reached for my hand and held it. That was somewhat reassuring.

We finally got back to my apartment, I didn't have any spare rooms, so I got Benjamin to help me carry one of the couches into my room, that had a twin sized bed and an armchair.
Chris quickly fell asleep on the armchair, and Dom lay down on the couch.
I awkwardly asked Benjamin if he minded sleeping next to me, he said it was fine, so that was good.
He lay down next to me, and embraced me into a hug.
I silently let tears fall from my eyes.
He noticed and faced me.
"Matt...don't cry, it's ok. You'll sort something out with him."
"I hope so...until then?"
I moved closer to Benjamin and leaned in to kiss him, he kissed me back, then pulled away and wrapped his arms round me, and like that we fell asleep.

Dom's POV

I woke up, I checked my phone, the time was 5:30am.
I looked over to Matt and Benjamin, Matt was asleep almost lying on top of Benjamin who had his arms wrapped around Matt.
I felt a prick of jealousy. Ouch. Emotions really can hurt.
I decided to go to the bathroom and maybe wash my face off or something, I probably looked really tired.
Matt's bathroom was grey and didn't have much to it, I looked under the sink.
His lyric book was there, I picked it up and read some of his new lyrics on songs he had called "Darkshines, Citizen Erased, Micro Cuts." Wow these where some really nice lyrics, the rest of them he'd shared with us yesterday. I noticed a pill container, I didn't want to snoop or anything but I was a bit curious, plus all they could be was like meds for when you have a cold or something.
Wrong. I couldn't believe what they where.
Antidepressants prescribed to Matthew Bellamy.
I had no idea. I felt so bad now, Matt was clearly still taking these, did he...lie to me, all those years ago?
No he couldn't have done, maybe they where just old or something, nope the date was quite recent.
Matt must have been going through something and I wasn't helping by being a bit of a dick to him....
The door opened, a sleepy looking Matt was standing at the door.

"There you are Dom, I knew you would be snooping around somewhere..." he sounded annoyed.
Then his gaze fell to what I was holding.
"Fuck. Dom I can explain...."
I walked up to him and just hugged him.
"I'm so sorry Matt."
He seemed a little shocked. He then eventually wrapped his arms around me.
"The pills, they're just like chemical reaction shit in brain that's all..." he said
"Matt, you don't need to come up with excuses, I'm so sorry for being a bitch, and I'm sorry that you couldn't trust me enough to tell me you where still going through this..."
"No it's not that Dom, I only started taking them a few months ago after a visit to my therapist, and I don't know if they're helping but I hope so....I didn't tell you because you seem so distant now. You never reply to my texts and if you do it's like a one word reply, and when I saw you yesterday you seemed so uninterested. So I thought that maybe if I was with Benjamin, I wouldn't feel so empty, but it's kind of just like my past relationships, we work out as friends but not as anything else...I think I'm truly in love with you, and only you Dom..."
I stood there, unsure of what to say.
Matt still loved me after everything? After I was a huge bitch to him and ignored him and stuff?
I wasn't sure if I should tell him how I felt. Fuck it.
I hugged the skinny boy stood in front of me and whispered in his ear. "You know, I think I love you to Matthew..."

It was slightly awkward in the morning as we all say round to eat, but it could have been worse.
As Matt was putting away some of his stuff, Benjamin approached me and asked me if he could have a word with me, I agreed.
I followed him into a room that I hadn't been in before, it looked like some kind of ancient office.
There was an old looking computer and a red chair, there was a cat sitting on that chair, I think Matt had mentioned his cat sometime yesterday, it's name was something like Bacon. Unusual name for a cat.
It was a black cat too, it has orange eyes that where glaring at me.
"Don't mind Matt's cat Bacon too much, he kind of stares at everyone..." Benjamin said as he walked over to stroke Bacon. Stroking Bacon. Never thought I'd say that...weird.
"So umm Dom...I just wanted to say that Matt and I where never more than friends, sure we did some stuff but I think Matt was just trying to convince himself he was over you or something.
Matt's a nice guy and all, but I think I see him as a friend...also he told me what happened between you two this morning. Regarding his mental health I think he's doing ok, not amazing but ok..."
"I'm sorry man, I misjudged you...I was just a bit jealous of Matt and you, you're actually a cool guy.
Sorry..."
"Don't be sorry, if someone was going at it with my crush I'd get a bit annoyed to."
"Matt's not a crush...ok maybe a bit."
"Still in denial are you?"
"What? No..." I felt my face turn a bit pink
"You're just like Matt, when your face turns pink you look at your shoes."
"And you stroke some weird cat called Bacon, stroking Bacon."
We both laughed at my stupid joke.
I walked over to Benjamin and Bacon, Bacon was a actually a rather friendly cat, Ben and I chatted for a while whilst stroking that weird cat.

Matt's POV

Now it was just Chris and I, he showed me some of the chord structures he had come up with for some of my songs.
"Of course, we would have to test how they sound using instruments, but I think they could work..."
"I think so, you and Dom don't live too far from London right?"
"Nah it takes about half an hour on the tube from where I am and Dom isn't too far away."
"Cool. You recon we could try and record some more songs in the coming months, and you know get them out to the fans, hopefully it goes well...working at some crappy takeout place isn't the best job ever..."
"Hahah yeah, sure. Everything ok Matt?"
"Yeah, I wonder what Ben had to tell Dom?"
"Probably something regarding this morning, who knows maybe they found that weird cat of yours?"
"Bacon isn't that weird..."
"Yeah he is, with a name like Bacon too? He was just staring at me whilst I was trying to sleep at like 3am. You're cat is like you little Bells, creepy."
"I'm not that creepy."
"Hmmmm"
"Hmmmm to you Wolstenholme."
Chris and I laughed about his bad jokes about me and my cat.
Dom and Ben came back after being gone for about 20 minutes or so.
They announced that they had found my weird cat.
"Bacon isn't that weird!" I said
"Sureee" they all said in unison.
I was glad that all of us where finally getting along.

A/N this is a slightly longer chapter...I'm not sure if I should finish this on the next chapter or keep going?
If I do finish it next chapter, I'll write another slightly different one :) I have some ideas.