THE OPEN MIND COLLECTION

The Gift Of Marriage, The Gift Of Singleness

"When are you going to get married?" Chenai had heard this question many times (from her relatives) being asked to her four elder sisters before they all got married. Now it was her turn. How could she answer that question when she didn't even have a boyfriend to start with?

"You're thirty-five, Chenny..." one of her mother's sisters had to remind her "and yet you say "no" to every man who asks you out!"

"Mainini, I don't want to get married yet" she told her "I'm not ready. I want to build my life further before..."

"Build your life...?" another mainini interjected. "Who told you that you cannot build your life with a man in your life?"

"And who knows how long that will take you till you decide to settle down with someone?" the third one asked. "You're not getting any younger, Chenny."

"I understand your concern, all of you" she replied "but I don't mind never getting married at all."

"So you want to die a virgin, without a man, with no children?" they asked angrily (assuming she was a virgin). Chenai stood up and left the room because she could not reason with her aunts.

"My Goodness, our child is possessed!" they cried out and held their heads.

"Zvakutoda kufambirwa izvi" one suggested "This requires a visit to the traditional doctors."

"What for...? We need to pray for her. She's possessed."

"Maybe it's the spirit of Tete Joyi (her father's sister) that possesses her. She never got married."

"What is this all about?" Chenai's mother asked her loud young sisters as she entered the living room.

"Sisi, it's your daughter Chenai" they reported to her. "She says that she doesn't mind never getting married at all. She needs help. She's possessed. You are her mother. Talk to her!"

Chenai's mother held her waist and stood in silence for a moment. She slowly licked her upper lip and then said, "I never thought my little sisters would grow up with such a terrible misconception about marriage." She shook her head emphatically. "Look at you, all of you..." her sisters fidgeted with discomfort. "You were all married once...but now you're all single..."

"At least we were married once" one argued.

"And then what?" she asked. "You don't understand do you? It's not about "just getting married" because "everyone is getting married". You really need to know what you're doing and as far as I know, my daughter is making a better decision than the three of you ever made. Look around you. She accomplished all of this on her own. If she's destined to get married, she will...but if she's not then just know that we all have different gifts; the gift for marriage and the gift for singleness...and hers might be singleness."