Don't Wake Me Up - Shawn Mendes

PART THIRTY FIVE

 I wake up the next morning, late for work, so I kiss Shawn on his forehead, tell him to stay in bed, and head out. I get to work only a few minutes late, and I'm lucky someone brought in coffee and pastries to the new assignment meeting so I can grab a bite to eat. The day goes by quite fast since everyone is feeling very motivated by the new project we'll be working on. I exchange a few texts with Shawn on my lunch break and we agree to meet at my place this evening.

After work, I pick up a few things at the grocery store and head home. I come in and am surprised to see Shawn waiting for me on the bed. He gets up to greet me with a kiss and grabs my bags.

"Hi darling, how was your day?" he asks.

"Fun! But gross, I still haven't showered since, well, you know, you came all over my face. So, do you mind putting the groceries away while I go take a shower?"

"Again! So sorry baby," he says holding a laugh, "I just couldn't control it. It's kind of a compliment, if you think about it!"

"Ha-ha," I mock him as I head to the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, I get back to the main room to put on a fresh set of clothes — pyjamas, okay, it's pyjamas! — and get to cooking.

"Hey Shawn? Can you come help me?" I ask him.

"Uhm, are you sure? I really don't know what I'm doing," he says, not to get out of it, but genuinely wondering.

"Sure! It's not that complicated, and you have to learn to make basic meals at some point!" I tease him.

He comes over to the kitchen and I hand him a cutting board and a cucumber.

"Okay, so I want you to chop this cucumber up in bite sizes like this," I say as I cut up a few pieces. "To make sure nothing happens to your magical fingers, make sure you hold them down like this. That way, your nails are kind of your guards. Got it?" I ask.

"Yep!" he replies, a bit too enthusiastically for my taste.

"And don't try to go too fast!" I tell him as I hand over the knife.

While he does that, I cook some rice and prepare the shrimp tartare. When he's done, and still has all ten of his fingers, I hand him a few carrots and ask him to make them julienne.

"You want what?" he asks in confusion.

"Like, tiny little sticks! Like this," I reply as I take the knife from him and start chopping up thin sticks of carrots. "Just go slow, and be precise."

He does just that. I'm waiting for the rice to finish cooking, and I look at him, concentrating, slowly cutting up this carrot. I feel a wave of guilt wash over me, and I blurt out:

"Shawn, I'm sorry."

"What? Am I not doing it correctly? Look! It's the same as yours!" he says with the most innocent look on his face.

I can't help but smile. He's so sweet.

"No, babe, they're perfect. I meant about yesterday..." I pause.

Shawn puts down the knife and faces me.

"Now that I look back on it, I feel so stupid. And so guilty I put us through that."

"No, honey, don't. I understand. I mean, I was hurt for sure, but I understand what it must've been like for you. It's true that tour is starting soon, and it won't be easy being apart. But we got out of this even stronger! Now we know what we're up against." He stops to kiss me. "We'll be alright."

I smile at him. What did I do to deserve him?

"Thank you. I love you," I say as I go in for a hug.

Shawn wraps his arms around me and whispers:

"I love you too."

*Ding* The rice cooker brings us both back to reality. Shawn finishes up the carrots, I cut up a few pieces of mango, and our homemade poke bowls are ready. We sit down side by side to eat at the counter, and we haven't said anything since our hug, so I ask Shawn what he's thinking about.

"The tour."

"Okay, what about it? Are you nervous?" I say to try and keep us off the subject of fear and anxiety.

"Alice, I want us to have a plan. I want something concrete we can both hold on to. I mean, what you said yesterday morning wasn't unfounded. We did get together really quickly. I want to make sure we stay that way, even when we're physically apart," he says while looking at me with a serious look on his face.

Just hearing that makes me feel so relieved already. He does know me.

"Okay! I'm all for plans, babe, you know that!" I reply, a smile on my face.

"I leave in a week. Until then, how about we spend as much time together as possible! I don't want to miss a second."

"You know I'd never say no to that!" I tell him as I bring my hand to his chin.

"Good. And then, when I'm gone, I want you to text me. I won't always be able to respond right away, but I want to check my phone and have a dozen messages from you. I wanna know what made you laugh, what dumb thing your coworker said, I wanna know if you thought about me. And every chance I get, I'll read them all and reply."

"Are you sure, Mendes? Because I will hold you to that, and I will blow up your phone," I tell him, only half joking.

"Honey, bust my data plan," he jokes back.

"We should also talk on the phone. I'll miss your voice," I say.

"Every night before bed, I'll call you. It'll be like 5 or 6 pm your time, and we can chat!" he says, enthusiastic at all his ideas.

"Absolutely! And if you're lucky, I might even..."

"What? You might even what?" he asked, suddenly very interested.

"Well, you might even get lucky," I say with a wink.

I see Shawn's expression change. His eyes open wide as he realizes that I meant phone sex.

"Oh really!" he says, "And uh, how would that go?"

He smirks at me. I can't help but take this opportunity to tease him even more.

"Well, I'd start by telling you how much I miss you. And how much I wish I was there with you." I bring my hand to the neck of his shirt. "And that if I were, I'd let you do crazy things to me." Now I'm pulling on it so I can trail my fingers on his chest. "How I hope the walls are thick in this hotel room, because I don't wanna hold back tonight."

I let go of his shirt, turn back to my food, and take a bite.

"What- You're just gonna stop now? It was getting good!" Shawn says, confused and disappointed.

"I'll save it for tour! Now eat!" I say with a wink.

"God, you're good," he says, more for himself than for me, as he turns back and starts eating.

I look at his face. At how flustered he got from the simple idea of me talking dirty to him. I know we'll be fine.