Don't Wake Me Up - Shawn Mendes

PART THIRTY TWO

Shawn's POV

Alice walked away, leaving me for the second time today. But unlike this morning, I'm not sad or hurt anymore.

When I left earlier, I was too upset to think. My heart ached for her, I had to walk it off. I walked and walked until I didn't recognize my surroundings. When I came to, I realized that I was cold and needed to turn back. And then, I got to my apartment, and the first thing I saw when stepping in was her key on the floor. That key may as well have been a dagger, because that's how it felt. Any sliver of hope I was trying to hold on to, hope that she'd come back, that I misunderstood her, was gone in an instant.

I went to the bathroom to splash my face with a bit of water, and I saw the t-shirt she wore, in the hamper. I took it out, and it still smelled like her. The anger was gone now, and the sadness took over. Nothing could cheer me up, but her. I tried calling, but I got sent to voicemail. I didn't know what to say, so I hung up.

I stayed in the dark of my apartment for a while, rerunning the events of last night in my mind. Who could've predicted what was going to happen this morning? That's when Aaliyah texted me:

"Hey Shawn! Just wanted to say I missed you, please come by more often! Last night was great, and I loved meeting Alice. She's so great, and she really seems to make you happy! I think she's a keeper, but I'll let mom tell you about that!" followed by a string of diamond ring emojis and,

"Wifey!!"

This was too much. How was I supposed to tell them that it was over already? That there was nothing I could do to help my own girlfriend, that I made her feel so fearful that she had to leave me? I thought I wouldn't call her again without a plan, but then I had to see her. No one could calm me down like she could.

I was a bit relieved when she said she was coming over, I get a second chance at pleading my case. But then she got here, and I think we had the best sex we've ever had! Top 3 for sure... I mean, that time in the studio bathroom was something, but whoa. I thought she was also able to clear her head, that this was our way back together, that this morning was just a bad memory... And then she broke my heart all over again.

But as I watched her walk away, I knew I'd find a way to prove to her that she has nothing to worry about. So I put some clothes on, and head to Yorkville.

Your POV

I'm walking back from Shawn's place to the subway station. I don't know if I should've gone back, because now I feel that pain of leaving him all over again. I'm sitting, mindlessly listening to my music, when the lyrics of Taylor Swift's Superstar catch my ear.

*And all the girls in the front row scream your name. So dim that spotlight, tell me things like, I can't take my eyes off of you. I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl who's desperately in love with you.*

Of course, of all the songs that could play right now, it's that one.

*You played in bars, you play guitar. I'm invisible and everyone knows who you are. And you'll never see, you sing me to sleep every night from the radio*

I want to skip it, but I decide to give it a listen. Maybe it'll give me a bit of guidance on how to deal with my situation. Being in love with a superstar, and being terribly afraid of not being any different than all his fans.

I get off the subway and start walking up the stairs, when my phone gets service again and I see I have a notification from Instagram.

"shawnmendes started a live video. Watch before it ends!"

Should I? I can't possibly think of a good reason for him to be doing a Live right now... When I left, I basically broke up with him all over again. He didn't seem too sad, though. Pretty confident, I'd say. I guess that's enough to peak my curiosity since I'm sliding the notification to open it. He's sitting in his car, and I recognize his parking garage. He's only just started, still saying hi to people joining in.

"Hi guys! Hi everyone! I hope you're all having a beautiful day! I just wanted to pop on here quickly and say how pumped I am about the tour that's about to start! Any of you guys excited as well?"

I can see a bunch of party hat emojis, the dancing girl, and a lot of hearts flood my screen. He laughs. How will I ever be able to forget that laugh?

"Well, I can't wait to see you guys either, and that's the reason I'm on here today! I wanted to share something with you, that's like, a big deal to me," he pauses. "Uhm, for the past few months, I've been seeing someone."

My heart sinks in my chest. I look away from my screen so I can't read the comments or see the reactions.

"And she's become one of the most important people in my life, so it didn't feel right to keep that from you guys anymore. I hope you'll see how happy she makes me, and how much I care for her. And that's why I have a huge favour to ask you guys! Sadly, she won't be able to be with me for the beginning of the tour, so I need you to take the best photos and videos of the shows so she can watch them, and feel like she's right here with us! Can you guys do that?"

I check the screen again, and it's mostly thumbs ups and smiley emojis, and of course, a lot of hearts. Maybe there was one poop emoji in there, but nothing alarming.

"Alright! Thanks so much, guys, I can't wait to see you all on tour, and I hope you have a wonderful rest of your weekend! Bye!"

He blows a kiss at the camera, like I've seen him do many times before, but I can't help but feel like that wink at the end means it was meant for me.

I have to stop and sit down on a small wall. What just happened? We... we break up, and now he tells the world that we're dating? Is he trying to force me back into the relationship? He should know better than to think I'm gonna do something because it's expected of me! Or... I mean, I'm not invisible anymore. They know he's taken now.

I jolt out of my thoughts as I hear the loud text notification sound in my ear.

"Hey, did you see the live?"