The Impact

Chapter 84

"So how does a lovely woman like you last so long without a ----living---man clinging to her? Or isn't that what you want?" Z asks, swirling a glass of wine. We are at a really nice restaurant. Like, I've never been to this nice a restaurant, restaurant. I'm in a blue dress. I know. Sailor said if she had to wear a dress I did. it's flowy and long yet still elegant with a highish collar and smooth short sleeves. And three spots of baby spit on it. Keeper is in a little tux with a purple bow tie. Yeah I was proud of myself on that one. Yes, the tux and purple bow I had already, my own outfit I did not. Sailor now has a red puffy gorgeous ridiculous prom dress by the way, which she is pretending not to like.

"Keeper's father turned out to be married and I tend to trust to wrong people," I say, shrugging.

"No, you're more fascinating than that. You cannot be explained in a single sentence," Z says, shaking his head. He's in a tux with a blue bow tie. Like I said it's a fancy place. I'm not drinking since I'm nursing Keeper still, but the little itty bitty appetizers they brought out were great.

"I'm not that interesting," I say.

"But you have to be. I've found most every woman is-----look I know you're not enjoying this and you don't even want to be here so I appreciate your and your child's company---but look at it like this. I find you fascinating, you, like most anyone, could probably use someone to talk to. So go ahead, vent, say whatever you like, I'm here to listen. Like a therapist. Who buys you dinner," he says, laughing at the last part. I do as well, a little.

"I wouldn't know where to start I um---I've never been to a therapist, that's probably not a good thing," I say, laughing a little.

"Doesn't matter---tell me about your family," he says.

"There's Keeper—"

"No, I mean your parents. And your brother, there has to be an interesting story behind your names," he encourages.

"Oh, they didn't name us those things---my parents didn't---Tailor, he liked those names, from the nursery rhyme, you know 'rich man poor man Beggarman theif?" I ask.

"Oh yes, all right I think have heard that one," he says, nodding, "So you all go by that, as nick names?"

"Yeah, basically, I legally changed mine, to make it easier because I never went by my birth-name," I say, shrugging.

"What'd your parents think of that?" he asks.

"I don't know they ah---quit talking to me, when I was eighteen and didn't have to live under their roof anymore. In fact they really quit talking to me long before that---they didn't like me talking to Tailor, because he was in prison for killing our older brother. He---Timothy, our brother---was teasing Tailor, bullying him, really, and Tailor snapped and killed him. You've met Tailor he's not---like other people---he didn't know, really it was wrong he didn't fully understand what he was doing and I felt bad because---you know---Tailor was all alone and Timothy was being cruel to him and Tailor was in prison where people would be cruel to him and---I missed him. I missed my big brother. And my parents were angry they wanted to act like Tailor didn't exist and I was their only remaining child and they wanted me to be perfect. And I'm not perfect," I say, staring down at my empty plate, "Um---so that's it really. I kept in sort of contact with them after I moved to New York but I didn't really go visit them. Much. And they died a few years ago."

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Yeah I guess I mean---they didn't talk to me much. And they wouldn't be happy about the baby. Because I'm not married," I say, shrugging again.

"It's nice, you stick with your brother," he says.

"You're looking for your brother," I say.

"Yes, but that's inherently selfish because I need him to help me with something," he says.