she said she wished i went to sleep and never woke up . no , this was not the first time she said it , actually the second . the first time she said it , it hurt a little but i shoved it away , thinking she only said it out of anger . but this time , she said it again . it was not a mistake , not just a thought . i tried to stop crying , but i just can't . the words flowing like a loop in my head . my heart fell and had as many cracks as the screen on my phone .
how could she ? the first person to feel my heart beat , the very first person i said i love you to .
i'm not perfect , nowhere close but neither are you . how can you wish me away after bringing me this far .
you hurt me over and over again , and each time i just let it go , i just let it slide .
i blame my sensitivity , i blame my clumsiness , i blame my personality , i blame myself .
i'd continue finding reasons and excuses , to cover the fact that you don't love me as much as i thought you did .
i'm sorry that i'd never measure up to your expectations .
but i'm done living my life for you . i'm done crying for all the words you utter , it does not define who i am .
i'm not perfect but i'll always be me .
