It Started With a Rose

Chapter 3

It was the day after my date with Tyler. Everything was going great that morning, I could smile and not fake it and I could actually believe I could do this, I could still keep fighting. Tyler and I were talking for hours that night, we both couldn't sleep, we felt we still just had so much to talk about, everything was great, was.

It was now about noon, I was not doing anything interesting as it was summer break. Then I suddenly heard someone outside my door. My "parents" were back, I felt a pit in my stomach as they walked through the door. I haven't been with them long Mr. and Mrs. Peters, Maybe a year or two now, but I never was fond of them, even before they decided I was good enough to take in.

Mr. and Mrs. Peters were my newest set of so called "parents", but I might as well not have any as they are never around. I feel so lost with them, I can never win. I'm almost positive they got me for show, like I'm a prize animal they can show off to their friends, it's repulsive. Mr. Peters walked through the front door, Mrs. Peters not to far behind him. They were carrying many suit cases and bags and scrambling to get everything inside.

Even though it took all my will power I put on a fake smile and said "How was the trip?"  Mrs. Peters looked at me and said firmly "The trip was fine Lucy, but help us or get out of the house for awhile." She was the worst out of the two. After changing into some clothes I walked out the door leaving them to all there crap, I mean I was just going to have to clean it later anyways.

Even though this was normal for me, I suddenly felt the urge to break down and cry. Maybe it was because I felt like everything that I just gained was taken away in a few minutes, all my old emotions started coming back and it it me hard. "Damn it!" I said not wanting to burst into tears, but it was to late. My eyes were flooded with tears as I sat on the steps outside my place.

I tried to message Tyler, but I didn't get a response everything felt like it was falling apart. I know it wasn't much to break down over, but I never really break down. I just felt hurt and alone and I didn't know what to do to make it stop. I just wanted it to all stop. 

In that moment the emotions I felt stopped, but they didn't at the same time. I wiped the tears from my face and walked to the nearest store. I felt numb, broke, unwanted. This wasn't the first time I have felt this way, I have all my life, it's just it went away for those past couple of days and then just like that it was gone.

I didn't even know if I was really alive or if it was all just a dream, I didn't know what to think. I walked through the doors of a small little store not too far from my house. I looked around for awhile and then I saw some blades in the aisle I was in. I stopped at stared at them for a moment and I am not sure what was going through my head when I grabbed a pack of them.

I walked up to the self-checkout and bought the pack of razors. I felt this pit in my stomach as I lost all control of my actions, I walked into the girls bathroom and went in one of the empty stalls. I grabbed the pack of razors and opened them up and grabbed one from the pack. I looked at it in my hands for awhile and tears filled my eyes.

I rolled up my sleeve and put the blade to my skin, I hesitated for a second before I drew the blade across my skin a few times. It stung for a bit, but after awhile it didn't hurt. I watched as the blood was flowing from the cuts I made on my arm and then I pulled down my sleeve.

I felt sick realizing what I did, but at the same time it made me realize I was alive. I walked out of the bathroom and I could feel the blood soaking into my shirt as I was walking out I bumped into someone and fell. "Ah, fuck that hurt." I heard a familiar voice say. I got up and offered my hand to them "Sorry." I said. "It's okay" they grabbed my hand and I felt my heart race when I saw that it was Tyler. "Tyler!" I said with shock and a bit of joy. "Oh hey Luc-" before he could finish talking I was holding onto him tightly in tears.

"Lucy, whats going on?" he said, wrapping his arms around me. "I'll explain later, j-just hold me, please." I said shaky with tears falling from my face. Tyler just nodded and held me for I don't know how long and everything was starting to seem right again, but I will now forever regret the blood I shed that day.