Thrown Into Secrets

Grant

Another warning to all of you lovely folks, this is a slightly depressing chapter. There are nightmares, a lit of nightmares, and Bucky. This is sort of a filler chapter, but you do need to read it because it will explain for future chapters why Steve has a filthy minded sass machine talking in his brain. Weird. I know.

NOTES ^^^

-
-
-
-
-

Steve was drowning. He couldn't breathe because of a cold, hard pressure on his chest that prevented him from inhaling. He couldn't see anything that caused the pressure, but he did see people around him, dying. He watched as his friends were shot down by Hydra, filling the Howlies with bullets while dragging a bleeding Peggy away by her hair to torture for information. Soldiers everywhere were screaming out in pain as limbs were blown away by explosives or begging to be put out of their misery as they laid of the ground dying from blood loss. Steve saw the Avengers fighting Red Skull as aliens tore apart men from the US army. One by one, his team was killed, being ripped to shreds in front of his eyes as he did his best to scream their names past the weight crushing his ribs. He was too small, too weak to do anything, so he just fell to the dirt as Tony's head rolled to a stop in front of him, blood and tears splattered onto pale skin as dull eyes tore into Steve's shattering soul. It was horrible. Wherever he looked, he could see the burnt remains of a leg still clinging to a broken body, half of an arm poking out from rubble covered in red blood, or even just someone he knew filled with bullets as blood leaked from the raw holes in their face. Then, the atmosphere changed and he was on a train. Steve was on his knees, silent tears dripping down his face as he struggled to breathe, wind whipping through his hair as a giant gaping hole in the train car rested to his left. He stared at Bucky as his friend stood in front of him. The brunette's hair was long and tangled, soaked with the blood that dripped down the side of his face. His left arm was a mess of messed up flesh and bits of metal, but his shoulder was silver and had a star drawn onto it with dripping blood. Everything on his body was bruised or broken, torn into a bloody mess that Steve had caused in some way. When Steve looked at Bucky's face, he saw familiar freckles on the pale cheeks and hazel eyes clouded over and storming with rage. Steve could see the blues, greens, and browns of Klaus's eyes swimming with fury and pain, all of it trained directly on Steve. The face in front of him shifted between the two as their voices were combined into one. "You did this to us! You left us to die all by ourselves when you could have saved us from Hydra! You were too weak! Too Weak! TOO WEAK!" The voices stopped and the person in front of him shifted again. Steve looked up at the brother that he never knew about, the blue eyes terrifyingly cold and merciless compared to Steve's warm eyes, despite them being the same exact color. "Failure. You disgust me. What kind of soldier are you? You have failed your first team, leaving them all alone, and now you have failed your second, leaving them as well. Will you also leave my team? Will you leave them after taking my body and my place? Will you leave them to die like the others?" Steve sobbed as the grip on his lungs loosened and the wind ripped his voice away, the tears freezing onto his thin face as the suit that once for him became baggy and large on his tiny, weak frame. The faces all mixed back together, shifting in and out between people. Peggy whispered Traitor as Natasha growled out a simple Worthless. Dum Dum barked out Failure, Astrid screamed Weak, and Tony forced out a sob with the word that hit the hardest. Liar. Steve was curled into himself, unable to rip his eyes away as the bodies and voices shifted in and out until it landed back on the mix of Bucky and Klaus. "You mean nothing to us. You are nothing." The mix of the two walked over to the hole in the train car, standing on the edge facing Steve. "All of this is your doing." Then the two of them fell backwards off of the train into the freezing air below. Steve lunged desperately, screaming when he saw the fear flicker in Klaus's eyes as the two of them fell, screaming out in Bucky's voice. "STEVIE!" Steve screamed wordlessly as the train flew away from the area where the two fell and the area around him became dark. Steve felt his clothes fit him again and looked up above him as he floated in the water, watching the last bits of light dance across his body while the plane sank. He felt strong arms come up from behind him, covered in black fabric that looked exactly like his Uniform, except the accents were red. Looking to his left, Steve saw his own face looking at him with a horrible grin stretching the skin around the pointed teeth unnaturally. On the chest of the uniform where there should have been a star, sat a red Hydra emblem dripping blood. He looked at himself calmly, knowing in some way that this was Grant, or at least the image that had been built of Grant in his mind from the files that he had read about the assassin. Steve watched slowly as Grant brought his hand upwards, holding a gun that he placed into Steve's hand. Without thinking, Steve did what the assassin slowly pushed him to do, the blood red eyes and fucked up grin burning themselves into his mind. The gun was slowly pushed up under his chin, and without any prompting, Steve put his finger on the trigger, ready to pull.