Dear: Who Now?!

Chapter 10

About twenty minutes after the whole slapping thing and wandering the streets a bit, I finally head back to the hostel and go to the room that we share with a bunch of strangers. As soon as I open the door, I see my mother pacing across the room. She looks up when she hears the door squeak and her face floods with relief. She comes running over to me and squishes me in a bone crushing hug. "Oh Ophelia! I'm so glad you're back! I didn't know what happened to you or where you went! I ran to the bathroom after you left to make sure nothing bad happened and the water was still running!" She squishes me tighter and whispers into my hair. "I'm glad you're back." And kisses my head. Finally, she lets me go and acts as if nothing ever happened. 

"Are you hungry? We could have a late lunch and early dinner." I shake my head no at her question. She doesn't seem fazed by my answer and continues. "What about going out and exploring the town? Seeing if there's anything fun to do - I mean it is Texas." Once again I shake my head no. Finally she flops down on the couch and lets out an exaggerated breath like a child would. "Then what do you wanna do?!" She asks me sounding like a bored toddler. I sit down next to her and shrug my shoulders which makes her let out another exaggerated breath and groan once again like a bored child, full of energy. And that's exactly how we spend the rest of the afternoon.

We're pulled out of our sitting when someone hands us styrofoam bowls full of - CHILI?! I purse my lips in disgust but am quickly elbowed by my mother and given a look. I don't let my disgust go. I hear my mom thank the person and I'm elbowed again but say nothing. After a minute of them standing there waiting for me to say thank you and not receiving it, they let out what they think is a silent huff and walk away, all the while I'm still glaring at the bowl of yuck in disgust. I mean WHO MAKES CHILI IN THE WARM WEATHER OF TEXAS AND EXPECTS PEOPLE TO WANT IT OR EVEN LIKE IT?! Begrudgingly, I go to take a bite when that stupid, fucking voice - subconscious decided to pop back in and annoy me! "What if it's poisoned?" I shake that thought off and mentally laugh. "Ha ha subconscious - you won't get me this time!" I say to myself. Again, I go to take a bite when the evil bitch hits me again! "Seriously O, What if it's poisoned by the mother of the boy you slapped and she's mad you hit her son so she's trying to kill you?" I go to mentally laugh at this thought when the voice is so loud inside my head and it's all I can hear, taunting me, laughing at me. "Oooo! What if there's razor blades in it that'll cut the hell out of you when you take a bite? Or bugs!" Crunch, crunch crunch!" The crunching and evil laughter fills my skull and paralyzes me for a second. Unable to handle it, I put the chili on the table in front of me and run to the bedroom where I throw myself onto my bunk bed. 

"What the fuck is wrong with me?!" I ask myself both out loud and in my head multiple times over and over again. I suppress my groan but not my eyeroll when the door opens and my mom comes walking in. She sits next to me and looks at me a moment - not that I can see because I have my face buried in my arms with my eyes closed but I can feel her weighty stare and I know she does this because she's done it to me my entire life. Finally she speaks. "Are you okay O?" She lightly asks me. I've been asking myself that same question and I don't know the answer to it so why should I tell you. I think to myself. "I don't feel good." Is what I finally decide on telling her. "Awww Honey-" She coos and proceeds to gently rub my back in a small circle. "What doesn't feel good?" She asks me. I make a disgusted face into my arms and think of something to say that could seem plausible and not be anywheres near to how I really feel. "Uhmmm.." I drawl out, still trying to think of an answer. "Everything?" I mumble out in a question. Without even having to look at my mother, I know exactly what she's doing - A puppy dog face, then she'll nod gently and kiss my head. After she does exactly that she closes the door behind her and flicks off the light so I can "get some sleep." 

Without meaning to, I actually fall asleep and am awoken what feels like seconds later. Opening my eyes, I quickly snap them shut immediately. A bright light is assaulting my eyes. "Ooooopehliaaaa" I hear my mom call my name. "Come onnnnn, We have to go." She tells me quietly. Groaning, I roll over to my right side and bump into her. I make no move to move and she laughs. "I juuust fell asleeeep!" I mumble. She laughs again. "No you haven't. You've been asleep for two whole days! I even booked us an extra day just so you could sleep. Now up, up, up, you go!" She says while tugging on my arms. I grumble at her cheeriness and then her words hit me "Asleep for two days." "Time to go." My eyes snap open and I squint to look at her. "Have I really been asleep for two whole days?" I ask in growing concern. She nods her head slightly and continues tugging on me until I sit up. I put my hands on my temples and frown. I try to think but I'm interrupted by the one and only pest in the room at this time of day - Whatever time that may be. "Don't frown, it causes wrinkles." She giggles slightly and continues. "The car's already packed. You have five minutes and you need to meet me in the car, ready to go." With that she taps the door frame and walks out to presumably the car to wait for me. 

Slowly I drag myself to the bathroom to release myself and freshen up. Looking in the mirror shocks the hell out of me - my face is much paler than usual and I have dark bags under my eyes, even though I just slept two days. Then I notice I never put makeup back on. The boys words float back through my head. "Featureless alien." I scrunch my face up and exit the bathroom, giving our room a once over before navigating through the hallways and finally coming to the front desk. "Thanks for staying at Drifter Jack's Hostel, I hope you enjoyed your stay!" The same man says just as enthusiastic as he did when we first came in. Then he looks at me. "Woah!" He says in shock. Uncomfortable, I run out and leave him open mouthed and in shock behind me. Jumping in the passenger's seat, I slam the door and look at my mom "Hit it!". And just like that, once again we're off to God knows where and for God knows how long. As we drive, I think back to everything that happened at the Hostel and how I slept for two whole days! Maybe I was just overtired and it made me hallucinate or something. Shaking my head and now wanting to think about it, I hit the power button on the radio and music fills the car. 

"But I would walk 500 miles, And I would walk 500 more, Just to be the man who walked 1000 miles to fall down at your door."