The Marriage Deal.

Take Forty-Two.

"Well, you look like yourself, but you're somebody else.. only, it ain't on the surface." - Flora Cash.

I would like to take this time to humbly apologize for the wait! Writer's block absolutely sucks! And so, I'm sorry. I love you guys!

42|

   As I sat by the island, staring at Derick's back, my mind raced like it was apart of a marathon. All I wanted was for it to stop. He was stood at the stove, taking up our breakfast. We were still in an unusual space, but still, I wanted to walk up behind him, hug him and to lay my head on his back.

   He was trying his absolute best to get us back to normal and I wanted that. God knows I wanted that. And we'll get there too. But, I needed to know that he wouldn't shun me every single time he saw Vivian's face.

   Turning around, he came and placed a plate of the most appetizing breakfast I'd laid eyes on in a while on the island before me; an omelette, French toast, a steaming bowl of what looked like chowder, fruits. All of it made my mouth water. I had to hold back before I embarrassed myself. At an easygoing pace, I leaned over and claimed the plate.

"Thanks." I said as I picked up my fork, readying to eat.

I saw him sigh more than I heard him. His shoulders had sagged slightly. "How long are we gonna keep this up?"

"Keep what up?" I backhanded.

"London."

"Okay, I'm sorry. I knew what you meant." Playing clueless was one of my many specialties. But, now was clearly not the time.

"London, I can't keep doing this with you. I just got you. I can't lose you already."

I finally looked up at him from my plate. "Who said anything about losing me?"

"You." He sounded extremely frustrated, as if he was holding everything in and was near exploding.

Pointing my fork at him, I said, "That's not what I said. I said I was going to ease up until you sorted out your situation."

And so began his sputtering. "Wha- how- London, I- I just want you. How hard is that to understand?" He asked incredulously.

I stared at him, shaking my head back and forth then I snorted. "You don't get it." I placed my fork down since clearly, I wouldn't get to eat until this conversation was over. "You don't get it, so let me paint a picture for you. Put yourself in my shoes. Let's say you broke up with your ex, Vivian, whom cheated on you and broke your heart in one of the worst ways. You're eventually told to let them go, to let the hurt go and that they'll get their karma. So, you do. You let her go. Everything's good with you. She calls, you don't care. You see her, you don't care. It's even better now because you're with someone."

"And now, this woman that you're with, shared similar experiences with you, maybe not as intense, but still really bad. And you see nobody but her now. You don't give a flying fuck about your ex, because what you have now is everything. But, her on the other hand, she can see her ex right now or hear his name, and she'll freeze, she'll get angry and become this callous jerk for about two hours, not wanting to talk to anyone about it, not even you. On top of that, she's forgiven the other woman, the one she was cheated on with. She forgave her. But somehow still reacts to her ex, every single time."

"Wouldn't that seem weird to you? Wouldn't that make you feel strange as if she still had some unresolved feeling for this ex? No? Or am I just going crazy? Because, Derick, we're gonna see her when we go to the store. We're gonna run into her at the mall and at events and parties. We're gonna hear her name. She's your father's wife. Does that mean I'm going to have to expect not to speak to you for a few hours because you're angry, every single time? Does that mean I should expect whatever moment we're having to be ruined like it was last night, every single time? Because if that's the case, count me out. It makes no sense!" I threw my hands up in the air in frustration, just thinking about the entire situation.