forgive my goofy grins

chapter twelve

DANTE POV

"Here ya go!" Gwen sang sliding a plate of 'the most delicious looking pancakes I have ever seen' over to my awaiting mouth. "I'll be right back, I'm just getting the mail." She said going out the door.

She was almost back instantly, "Junk, junk, bill, junk,” silence. "Oh fuck, it’s finally happened. “She said with a discussed sneer.

"What’s up?" I asked kind of freaking out.

"You remember the deprivers I told you I would protect you from? It looks like we got them knocking on our door."

I almost choked. "WHAT?! ARE YOU SERIOUS!?! You told me those guys were terrible! And now they're coming for us?!"

"Well looks like you got it in a nutshell! Gold star!" She said getting a lighter and burning the letter. "Now I hate to take you away from your breakfast but we gotta go see a friend of mine. As soon as possible."

:::::::::TIMELAPSE:::::::::

"Hey sanji! I know you’re in here you old fart! Come out! It’s an emergency!"

The door was calmly answered by a man in a black tailcoat.

"Nice to see you again Miss Phantomhive, have you come for more weapons? Ah I see you've brought a friend sha---" Gwen pushed him out of the way.

"SANJI! GET YOUR TATTERED OLD ASS OUT HERE!!!" she screamed up the stairs.

“Calm down.” Said some footsteps coming down the stairs. “If you yell any louder the roof will cave in on us.” An old Japanese man came down the stairs holding his head with an annoyed expression. “Here’s me trying to get some well-earned beauty sleep and suddenly an annoying little shit almost breaks my door assaults my butler and starts screaming their fucking lungs out! Now who could that be? Wait, there’s no question about it, it’s my dear pupil Gwen.” He gives her an amused and cheeky look which is quite interesting for an old guy to do. “So what trouble have you gotten yourself into this time? I hope it’s not something in Egypt again. Last time I had to save your ass there I broke a nail.” He says smiling evilly and blowing on his nails.

And holy shit they were a good inch long! And fucking sharp! I try not to think of what he uses those nails for.

I look up to Gwen expecting a scowl spread across her face, but to my surprise she’s smiling like a kid on happy gas!

“Come on, you can’t honestly tell me you didn’t enjoy that little escapade. We were both having a ball. And I do remember rescuing your ass a couple times too. I’ve got the scar to prove it.”

They both laughed together while I just kind of sat there confused.

“Um sorry to interrupt but we are kind of her because of an emergency remember?”

Sanji stops laughing and looks at me like I’m a new species. Actually I think it’s the first time he’s looked at me at all since we arrived. Rude.

“Gwen, who’s this dashing little worm?”

Worm?

“This is Dante. The jelly to my peanut butter, the Kit to my Kat and my very own heartbeat I can call my own as I am his.” She wrapped her arm around my waist and kissed me passionately. Mmmm, if only I could stay like this forever. Her tongue and mine twisted around each other’s creating a new and fabulous taste.

“Ahmm” interrupted a very loud and gruff voice. Hearing this Gwen released me.

“Quite the introduction. And now that it’s over why don’t we take this little party into the living room?” he turned toward the next room. “Mr. Tanaka, please make up some tea and serve it to us in the other room.”

“Yes sir.” I jumped instinctively at the creepy voice in the shadows behind me.

“Calm down” Gwen chuckled peeling my hand off my heart.

Fucking batshit crazy shitty ass scary butler.

“Creepy ain’t he?” Gwen said with a smirk. “I bet you almost pissed yourself again.” I felt a frown smear across my face. She was right. I really need to get control over myself. If I can’t handle something as trivial as someone blabbing behind me then I’m royally screwed. I know she means well but it’s more than I want to admit at this point.

“Soooooo, wanna tell me what so called shit has hit the fan this time?” asked sanji, sipping his tea.

“Well you see since this little fruitcake walked into my life” she said winking at me “it’s been one damn interesting escalader ride up to the point where I simply cannot bear to let my little bird go. And as you can probably figure out with my position things can easily get a little bit sticky. Especially since he’s human, bless his soul. Anyhoo, as I was expecting this morning I got a friendly little letter politely asking me to exterminate my little lamb for the good of the rest of the goddamn herd. So in a nutshell I Gwen Phantomhive have fallen so hard for this little meatworm and am prepared to fight headquarters and the Deprivers to keep him. And guess what?” She looked up with a murderous grin spread on her face. “I’m going to drag anyone who gets in my way straight down to the bloody pits of hell.”

Silence.

“BWAHHAAA!!!!!” howled sanji “AHAHA!!! I knew this day would come! You are just that kind of delicious crazy. But without it I guess you wouldn’t have gotten this far.”

His face suddenly looked so serious it looked as if it might fall off. “But even so you are still my favorite student and there’s not a lot of things I wouldn’t risk life or death for you, I’m sure you’d say the same. Or at least I hope you would.” He slammed his fist onto the coffee table with such force that I’m wondering how it didn’t break…

“It would be my absolute honor for me to assist my star pupil in this batshit crazy battle that is about to come, I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“SMACK!” Gwen’s fist crushed down on top of his. “ALRIGHTY THEN!!! LET’S SET THIS WORLD ON FIRE!”

They’re crazy. They’re both fucking crazy. I mean I love one of them but that doesn’t change the fact that she is as insane as mixing squid legs with peanut butter. (Very bad combo.)

“Now the most time we have is about a week before the deprivers take action. So we need to be ready by then to go into the demon work and kick their asses to the point where they will be burping farts, now I guess I’ll be training you guys, mostly Gwen, to kick big boss bootay over the next couple of days. So prepare yourself for the worst week you can possibly imagine. Something along the lines of, working so hard that you won’t be able to lift your cold dead bodies off the ground and swimming in a pool of your own blood and sweat.”

Sigh, these next few days are gunna be hell.