In My Mind

I am Confusion

The epitome of support
Everybody's shoulder
But who holds her?
When she silently cries and has unexplained whys
Of why everybody leaves and why she's not good enough for anyone to try
The dry ass compliments complemented with determined goodbyes
Only for them to come back with regret in their eyes
For them to realize what they've missed out on but the heart grows wise
She can't turn back, she's come too far alone
And she's tired of singing the same sad songs
Exhausted with wanting to belong
Yet realizing the harsh truth that she just has to stay strong
Because it won't be long
Before she's proven wrong
Not with love
Just with someone who understands
What's it like to be the strong one and have everything placed in your hands,
With family matters and life's circumstance
Nobody sees that tho, just the drinking and smoking and the constant loud rants
The loud, but small
Completely off the wall
Strong and smart girl
That faces it all
With a smile and grace
You'll never know what she's faced
How her past is filled with sacrifice and distaste
How her heart used to be filled with unwarranted hate
And she'd called out for love once
Before it was too late
Now that pumping heart beats slow
In contempt of breaking
In lue of sorrow for the years of waiting
And trying and dating
Realizing her purpose of being used
And the desire to be loved fading
Because who gave her a second thought
Lotta leaving before contemplation
Now it's a sticky situation
Of the past manipulations mixing with present degradation
But I'm lonely so I'll weigh the wages
And take what I can
A good girl just enduring the "talking" stages
Always told "if I did have a girl it would be you"
How could that be true
When the next bitch you fucked was who became ya boo
Yeah I saw ya bullshit ass Twitter bio too
But now you're missing me and it hurts seeing me okay instead of not knowing what to do
Because I'm a lot stronger these days
But the heart still wants love, and I still love hard regardless of the cold
So now I'm confused