Saving Grace

Sixty Two

Peter walks home in Hello Kitty pajama pants and a, 'I survived my trip to New York,' t-shirt, but he's not sure if he's survived anything at all. He feels like he's been taken apart and put back together again but too forcefully, too wrong. He feels like he could throw up right here, right now, on the already-dirty sidewalk.

He feels like crap.

He thinks of Grace, wondering what she's doing right now. Probably blocking his number, maybe calling Harley, talking to Mr. Stark. Maybe crying, though he hopes she's doing anything but crying. The thought of being the reason she's crying...

He'd rather she hate him.

As he gets closer to his apartment, he thinks of May. What's she gonna think? Does she know? Did Tony call her, too? She's probably worried about him; she called earlier, a hundred times, and he didn't answer. It adds to his guilt tenfold.

He knocks on the apartment door softly when he reaches it, and May opens it instantly. She looks relieved when she sees him. "Hey," he says.

She turns and goes into the apartment, trying to breathe, freaking out. He walks in and closes the door quietly. She turns back around. Her eyes are glassy. "I've been calling you all day. You didn't answer your phone- you can't do that. Then, this ferry thing happens. I've called five police stations." Peter looks down, says nothing. "Five," she repeats. "I called five of your friends-"

"I'm fine-"

"I called Ned's mother-"

"May, I'm okay," he says, trying to reassure her. "Honestly. Just relax. I'm fine."

"Cut the crap, Peter," she says angrily. "I know you left detention. I know you left the hotel room in Washington. I know you sneak out of this house every night. That's not fine. Peter, you have to tell me what's going on. Just lay it out. It's just me and you."

Peter closes his eyes. He can't tell her. He can't tell her about Spider-Man. If she's this worried now...

He can't. He just can't.

Then, she asks him a question, point blank. "Have you been going to see Grace?"

It's like a punch to Peter's gut. "Twice," he chokes out.

"Peter, you can't-"

And then it just comes out. "I lost the Stark internship."

May stops. "What? What happened?"

Peter shakes his head, crying again. "I just thought that I could work really hard and he could- he would- you know. But I screwed it up..."

May pauses, her heart sinking for him. "Can you still talk to Grace? Can you still see her?"

Peter shakes his head, looking up at her now. "I-I don't know. I can't lose her, too, May. I can't." His voice breaks, and she hugs him, pulling him to her as he just cries.

"It's okay, it's okay. It's okay," she whispers, remembering all the times she's held this boy as he cried, from a baby to right now. Her son, no matter the circumstances.

"I'm sorry I made you worry," he says, his own voice reminding him of a child.

May sighs. "You know, I'm not trying to ruin your life."

"Yeah, I know."

"Just... I used to sneak out, too."

Peter laughs a little. "Yeah."

May leans forward, her face closer to his hair. She grimaces. "And take a shower. You smell. You smell like garbage."

Peter laughs again, pulling away. "I know."