Hindi ako umiimik buong byahe. Hindi ko na din alam kung saan kami papunta. I'm lost for words. All I know is that I missed him. SO MUCH that I'm really sorry that I doubted him. I don't know if this is love but I-I wanna be with him.
"Let's go?"
"O-okay"
Pagbaba ng sasakyan dun ko na lang narealize na andun kame sa lugar kung san niya ko unang dinala. It hasn't dawned yet. Palubog pa lang ang araw.
Nakatitig lang kame sa paglubog ng araw habang nakasandal sa sasakyan niya. No one's speaking. It's like our presence is enough to be here.
"S-sorry"
I started. I just need to. Sorry is the only word I could say sa nagawa ko. Tears started falling. I'm so vulnerable when I'm with him.
"Hey." He made me face him and cupped my face
"I-I know. I-I felt how s-sincere y-you are. P-pero I still... I still doubted you, I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry Matt" I broke down. I held his hands and was about to kneel down when he stopped me.
"No. No. Stop. Stand up now Kat. You don't have to do that"
"I know I've hurt you so much and I-I understand. I'm really sorry Matt. I-I'm really sorry *sobs*"
He kissed my forehead
"Kat. Look at me."
"..."
"Hey, now" he held my chin up for me to face him. I don't have the courage to even look at him. I'm so ashamed that after all that I did he still treats me like this.
He took a deep breath before speaking.
"You don't have to be sorry, Kat. It's not your fault. I should be the one saying sorry here"
"Huh?"
"I was the one who knows the situation you're in. Yet I was drowned by the fact na wala kang tiwala saken. I forgot that you do that to protect yourself. Pinilit kong pasukin ang buhay mo kahit di mo to binubuksan na bukal sa loob mo"
"But that was so selfish of me Matt. You do all the efforts for me. Yet all I did was to doubt you"
"I admit. Nasaktan ako. Minahal kita eh. Mahal kita. Siguro nag-expect lang ako masyado? Akala ko okay na ko sayo. Akala ko finally you've given me the trust that I wanted to earn from you then you showed me that I was wrong"
"No. I-I really trust you Matt. I-I just..."
"It's okay Kat. You don't have to explain. I'm sorry as well. Sa halip na tulungan kita sa pinagdadaanan mo mukhang dumagdag pa ko"
"No. Hindi yan totoo"
"Lumayo ako kase I have to figure things out myself. Kaya ko ba malayo sayo? Kaya ko bang iwan ka? Kaya ko bang hindi isantabi ang galit ko at umalis na lang? Kaya ko bang wala ka? Alam mo kung anong naging sagot ko?"
"..."
"The moment I saw you being hurt by your own father, dun ko nalaman ang sagot. Hindi ko kaya."
"Matt..."
"You became a part of me already. Andito ka na oh?" Sabay turo niya sa ulo niya "pati dito... sa puso ko"
"I don't know what to say Matt..."
"It's okay. Love is not about being loved back. It's about you showing how you love the person and not waiting for something in return"
"I was so doubtful of anything around me that I don't see the truth in every story. I always have to question everything, but when it comes to you, I easily see the real me. I-I've never been more of a person than I am when I was with you Matt"
"Glad to know that Kat. At least in that aspect I've helped"
"I-I missed you"
"I don't"
"Ha?" I bit my lip to stop myself from crying.
"I didn't miss you because I'm always with you Kat"
