Nica's POV.
I watch as red stains my carpet and sink. Dripping ones after one another. Knowing fighting the demons inside is useless. It's kills you inside and outside. You'll never know what it's like to be tortured by your own mind. When I was 8, I thought life is the best shit ever. I would have never imagined that my life would turn out like this. Me turning as a depressed self-harming teenager that has nothing to do with her life and stupid enough that she can't even kill herself right away.
I sighed. Done with self-harming for today. Rinsing the blade that I recently used and kept it in my medicine kit. As I close my medicine kit. I stared at myself at the small mirror.
"Hah. Gotta love yourself. " I talked to my own reflection and rolling my eyes going back to my self as a teenager who hates the world. I slightly jumped as the doorbell rang through the small apartment. I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I quickly rinsed all of my blood on my wrist. Wincing every now and then as the doorbell continued to ring.
"I'm coming! God!" I threw my hands in the air and groaned walking out the bathroom and up to anwer the door.
"What?" I ask nonchalantly. "Oh. Hey Mr. Walker?" I said rather politely. He is the owner of this apartelle aaaand I haven't payed my rent. Yes. Told you, I'm screwed.
"Pay your fucking rent or i'll kick you out." He harshly says handing me the papers of notice. "Your due is until next month or i'll kick you out." he repeats the last part, probably emphasizing about him kicking me out. Yadda yadda.
"Mr. Walker, Please. Give me one more month, Please. If I don't get things settled by the end of another month, It's fine. I'm moving out. Just please give me one more month. Just one, please." I practically begged. I know i'm fucked up but I don't want to be sleeping on sidewalks.
Mr. Walker looked at me from head to toe and settled his eyes on my wrist and once I caught him staring, I quickly sliding down the sleeve of my sweater, tugging a loose strand of hair behind my ears and looking up to Mr. Walker. He sighed. "Okay. But only for one month or you're out. Okay?" I nodded.
"Thank you so much Mr. Walker." I emphasized the 'so' so he knows how he practically saved my arse. He nodded again. "And honey, Don't do that to yourself. Don't let them win." He said, sympathy in his eyes. He walked away and down the stairs. It took me moments to understand what he just said.
I closed the door and walked to my bed and sat down. I stared blankly into the dirty white painted wall. How could I have the money for the rent by next month? Then again I lost it. Lashing out. Screaming. Pulling my hair to all directions.
"Why am I even born and could not be killed!" I screamed. I breathed rapidly. Wanting to calm. "Don't let them win. Don't let them win. Don't let them win, Nica." I finally calmed down. Whispering the last words- that Mr. Walker gave me- to myself. I climbed on top of my bed and covered myself with my duvet. I closed my eyes.
"Don't let them win."
~
I'm sitting on my usual spot in this cafeteria. Where nobody usually sits but me. I sighed as I opened my can of coke. Taking a big gulp from it. I eat the last scoop of mashed potato and stood up bringing the can of coke with me. I take one huge sip again and threw it.
I walked to my locker and put my bag in it and wearing my coat. I just want to walk out for a minute. I walked around the capus kicking a stone every now and then. Occasionally sitting down. Now im here under a large tree where no-one is. Again, I'm always alone.
But then a silhouette start walking towards me. Then the figure came to clear figure. Calum.
"Hey Nicole." He smiled.
"Shut up and g- Wait. Did you just-"
"Call you by your real name? yes." He finished the sentence for me and answered.
"oh. How did you know? No-one knows that." I said standing up and walking up to him.
"I do and i'll start calling you that." "No, You're not." I said.
"Yes, I will." He corrected me. "Shut up. Oh god." I face palmed at how annoying this guy is.
"What do you want now?" I asked, already itching for him to leave me alone.
"Nothing." He shrugged, sitting down on the same spot where I sat earlier.
"Why are you here in the middle of lunch break then?" I raised my eyebrows at him, crossing my arms over my chest.
"I don't know." He shrugged once again.
"Don't be so difficult, Nicole. I'm not going to hurt you or some sort of shit." He said, sighing.
"I know and Stop calling me that." I sighed. Feeling annoyed yet I gave up arguing with him.
"I just want to get to know you." He said.
"Good luck with that." with that, I walked back inside the campus.
___________
Woah. Okay?
~Juls xx
YOU ARE READING
Damaged || c.h.
Fanfiction"Some people's lives were meant to be screwed, They can't change that. Some people's lives are screwed but still have the chance to make things better. By just finding the only thing that could make you a better person. Something that could change y...
