The Innocent Can Never Last

Lets Forgot This Ever Happened...

Emma's POV

Billie and I had been locked in a passionate kiss for several minutes before I finally summoned up the courage to push him away from me. The moment our lips tore apart, a terrible, agonizing feeling swept through my heart, because I knew in that moment that I still had feelings for Billie. But he wasn't mine. He was Ruby's. He belonged to her, and what we were doing was wrong.
"Mm... Why did you stop?" Billie asked me, closing his eyes and leaning back into the couch cushions.
"Because this is all wrong, Billie. You have a girlfriend," I said softly.

Just hearing myself say that made me want to scream. No! He couldn't have a girlfriend! He was mine! Or was he? What we had had was so special, that it seemed almost impossible that he couldn't still love me. Why else would he have come back for me? Why else would he have kissed me like that? He was just as much in love with me as I was with him. He had to be, didn't he?

I felt myself getting dizzy, but I stood up anyway, and backed into the wall. "Emma..." Billie said, starting to sound nervous. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"This, Billie. This is wrong," I repeated.
"Who cares, Emma? It's not like Ruby isn't out doing the same thing right now. And it feels good, doesn't it?" Billie asked.
"No, Billie, it doesn't feel good! You have a girlfriend; you shouldn't be down here making out with me! It's not right! I refuse to be involved with this!" I shouted.

What was I doing? I was lying to him, and I was lying to myself. That kiss had felt good, girlfriend or no girlfriend. That had been excellent. I just couldn't admit that to him, because I wasn't going to be part of a scandal like that. How could something that felt so right really be so wrong, though?
Billie looked slightly hurt by my sudden eruption. "Emma..." he said, seemingly trying to find the right words.

At the sound of his soft voice, I began to shake a bit. I leaned my head up against the wall behind me, and closed my eyes, taking in several deep breaths. "I'm sorry... If it made you uncomfortable..." Billie mumbled.
Oh, god! Just hearing his voice made me uncomfortable; I wanted to run over and kiss him so bad. It was getting harder and harder to control myself. Without thinking, I opened my eyes with a snap, and said, "I'm going to go outside... I need some air."

Before Billie even had time to respond, I had hurried over to the door we had come in through, and disappeared. I bustled back through the storage room with all of the equipment in it, and I began hurrying up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I heard Billie shout, "Emma! Wait!" from somewhere behind me, and I suddenly broke out into a run, moving as fast as possible up the stairs.
When I reached the top, I sprinted down the hallway and out the front door of the building, into the street. I still didn't stop, though. I knew that Billie was following me, and I had to get away from him. I ran for several minutes, before I quickly ducked into a dark alley and slid down into a sitting position against the brick wall behind me, still breathing heavily.
Thousands of different emotions were running through my body, making my head begin to pound furiously. I still loved Billie. I could hardly believe it. We had just started speaking again the night before, and I was completely amazed at how fast all of my old feelings for Billie had come rushing back. It was unbelievable. With a long sigh, I closed my eyes and leaned heavily against the wall, trying to somewhat clear my head.

It was several minutes later, as I was sitting, in a daze, against the wall, when I heard light footsteps coming my way, and then a small voice whispered, "Emma?"
I instantly snapped my eyes open, and looked up to see Billie Joe standing over me, looking very concerned and scared. "Emma..." he said. "Please don't run away. Just listen to me."
My heart must have been beating a hundred miles an hour, but I managed to maintain my composure. "Sit down," I said quietly.
Billie sat. "Emma, I'm sorry. Really. But if you want to know the truth...I...still have feelings for you. I never stopped having feelings for you. And I know it's wrong that I'm in love with another girl when I already have a girlfriend, but I can't help it," he said.
"I know you can't help it. If you want the honest to god truth from me as well...I still have feelings for you, too. I just realized back there in the studio. But we can't be," I said.
"Emma...we can. I can break it off with Ruby right now, and we could be happy together...we could," Billie said.
"No, Billie. I don't want you to break up with your girlfriend just because you have feelings for me. I don't care if you think she's cheating or not. I don't want you to dump her for me, because that's as good as cheating. If you want to dump her, then do it, but don't do it for me," I said.