The Innocent Can Never Last

Green Day

Billie's POV

It was almost a week after the incident on Gilman Street when I finally decided that it was time for me to leave Emma's house and go back to the warehouse. The decision was sudden, but I realized that Emma was right; I couldn't hide from the world forever. Truthfully, I still felt like an idiot about the fact that I was the last one to figure out that Ruby was being unfaithful.

I couldn't believe that after everything everyone had told me about her, I had still trusted her. And then she had ripped my heart out. I could only imagine what the initial reaction from all of the guys would be when I returned to the warehouse. "I told you so," would be a fair candidate.

But I knew that the longer I waited to face everyone, the harder it would be for me to do it, so, after a week of sitting around on Emma's couch, living on Cheetos and Diet Coke, I finally decided to leave. It took me a few minutes to pack my bag, and when I finished with that, I thanked Emma and Anastasia for letting me stay at their apartment for so long, and then I headed out. I quickly hailed a cab, and slid into the back seat, bags and all.
"Where to?" the cab driver asked me.
I told him where to go, and then I settled back into the seat and looked out the window, watching contentedly as the scenery flew by.

Twenty minutes later, the cab pulled up in front of the warehouse and came screeching to a deafening halt. I handed the driver his money, and stepped out of the back of the car, feeling my muscles tighten in anxiety as I did so. Now was my moment of truth. Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I grabbed my bag out of the backseat of the car, and headed up the front walk of the warehouse.

Letting a long sigh escape from my lips, I pushed the door open and entered the house. I was instantly greeted by the sound of laughter from the living room, so I instinctively headed in that direction. Upon entering the room, I saw that several of the guys appeared to be having a pool tournament. They all looked up when I entered the room, however, and I saw several jaws drop in unmistakeable shock. No doubt they were surprised to see me; they probably thought that I was never coming back. There were several long seconds of silence, while the guys simply sat and stared at me, and I stared back at them, at a loss for words. Finally, though, JJ broke the silence by saying, "Billie! We were wondering if we were ever going to see again, man! How have you been?"
"I've been okay," I replied, offering a tired shrug.
"Well, it's good to have you back, man, it wasn't the same around here without your little skinny ass making some smart comment or something," JJ said, with a smile. "Give me a hug, man!"

With a small smile, I threw my bag down on the floor and walked over to JJ. He threw his arms around me and ruffled my hair up a little bit, as the rest of the guys grinned, laughed and then joined in on the hug. The next thing I knew, I was stuck in the middle of a very large, very uncomfortable group hug. People were thumping me on the back and ruffling my hair, shouting things like, "Good to have you back, dude," and "We missed you, little buddy!"
Somewhere in the middle of all that hugging and cheering, I realized something important; I never should have been nervous to face those guys about being cheated on by Ruby. No matter how stupid I might have been to fall for her, they would never judge me about it, any of them. They were just a bunch of nice guys that accepted the fact that I had made a mistake, and they would never think any less of me for it. Each and every one of them was like a brother to me. Those guys were my family.

Fifteen minutes later, after finally having torn myself away from all of the guys, I found myself sitting on the bed in my 'closet', staring down at the duffel bag that lay at my feet. I was contemplating whether or not I wanted to unpack it now or later, when I heard a sudden sound in the doorway. I looked up to see Roan standing in the doorway, staring curiously at me, his head cocked slightly to the side. "Hey," he said quietly, when our eyes met.
I frowned a bit, and said, "What do you want?"
"Nothing. I was just making sure you were okay," he replied.
"Well, I'm fine," I sneered.
"The hell you are. Look at yourself, Billie. You're lost; I can see it in your eyes," Roan said.
"What do you want me to say, Roan?" I asked. "Do you want me to admit that I was wrong just so that your shitty ego can have a nice boost? Well, fine then, I'll admit it, Roan. I was wrong. I was wrong to fall for Ruby in the first place, and I should have just stayed with Emma. I should have listened to you, because you were right. You were right about everything, and I should have listened to you! Are you happy now, huh? Are you happy?"
"Billie-"
"No! Would you please just leave me alone, for once? Do you always have to lecture me about everything? Would you please just go away?" I asked, a bit hysterically.