Just A Song

5

After Luce gave me a ride home, I immediately changed into sweatpants and planned to gather my college stuff, so I wouldn't have to do it tomorrow in the morning, but as I crossed my guitar I couldn't help it.
I just had to play at least a short song.
But the moment I started I got a little carried away by the beauty of the sounds coming together as a melody.
The way everything seemed to have a purpose, every tiny aspect of a song can change it entirely.

So instead of playing one song I ended up playing the guitar until midnight.
The moment I stopped I couldn't stand the silence. We all know the saying: silence says more than words ever could. Sometimes I feel like I can't handle the silence, or can't handle my own thoughts.

The next morning I woke up for classes around 6 am and got ready, ate breakfast before I headed to the bus station, once again with my precious headphones on. The sun didn't fully raise by then, so it was still pretty dark and cold outside. But I actually enjoyed it way more than the brightness and heat of the summer.

I made my way through the crowded hallways to my classroom. I think it's one of the business classes but I'm not really sure. The professor wasn't there  so I kept my headphones on and enjoyed the music of my favorite bands and artists with closed eyes so I could forget I was in a room filled with other college students.

But suddenly my headphones were gone and I snapped back to reality.
I searched for the professor first but as I was certain the class hadn't started yet, I turned to the side to come face to face with  Brian!?!

I was frozen for a moment but as soon as I realized he was close enough for me to be able to kiss him, with out much movement, I pulled my head back a little.

"you're taking business management, too?", he asked me surprised. He was probably just as shocked to see me in this class as I was to see him there.

"well, obviously", I chuckled, "didn't expect to see you here either."

As I took a closer look at him I noticed how tired or more like seriously sleep deprived he seemed to be.

Seconds later the professor entered  and the room turned silent while he started to teach. I was total helpless at the start but I kinda understood it half way through the class.

Only a few seconds later I felt a weight on my shoulder which turned out to be the head of a sleeping Brian.
I was glad to see him sleep at least for the hour this class had left. I didn't really know why, but I was concerned about him. I was certain there had to be more about it. But I didn't know him long enough to say what it could possibly be. Hopefully it's not too bad. Maybe he was just a little stressed and is going to be fine in a few days.

When the class ended I had to wake him up, I couldn't stay here the whole day. That doesn't even sound that bad to me, but both of us have to attend our classes.

So I softly tapped his shoulder und mumbled "Brian, come on wake up". But his only reaction was to side-hug me and pull me closer while he scrunched his nose a little.
And this is officially the most adorable thing I've ever seen. He was so cute in this moment and seemed like a child.

"Brian, we have to go to our classes now", I said louder than before.
And this time he woke up with a low groan. Still sleepy he glanced up at my face and mumbled something like, "hii, jaeee", yeah pronounced like that. Why is this guy so cute when he's (half-) asleep. I chuckled at my own thoughts and repeated once again, "we have to go now, Bry".
Still not in the right state of mind he stood up and followed me out of the room.

"which class is your next?", a now completely awake Brian asked me.

"uhmm music history I guess"
"good, this way", he told me and swung me around with my arm.
I simply interpreted this as a 'I have the same class, it's over there'.
And the next minute he had taken me to a still nearly empty classroom and pulled me into a seat at the back of the class while he took the one next to me.

It was silent for a few seconds before Brian started,
"I'm sorry if I bothered you today. I didn't mean to fall asleep with my head on your shoulder, so sorry for that."
he seemed so unsecure in this moment. I didn't understand why, he always looked so confident before.

"It's no problem. You didn't bother me at all. You were just tired, there's nothing wrong with trying to get a little rest.", I told him with a soft smile, hoping to calm him.

"Thank you", was the last thing he said before the prof came in and the lesson started. I didn't even notice other students entrance.

I can't help but to wonder why he seemed so serious as he thanked me. It wasn't a big deal but it seemed to be for him.
Maybe I'll ask him someday, I was sure he wouldn't tell me at that time, it was simply too early.

After this class was lunch time, as I wanted to ask Brian if I could sit with him and his friends he asked me the exact same thing. I grinned happily at our similar thoughts and nodded thankful.
We then went to the canteen to meet up with his friends. And my soon-to-be bandmates, I remembered just then. But I wanted to be sure of that before a say something to the others. So I decided, to ask Brian was the easiest way to find out if they were serious.

" Do you remember that your friends said I should join your band? Did they mean it, I just wondered. It's okay if it was just a joke though."
I tried to formulate my question without sounding too desperate. No idea if it Worked. And his reaction didn't help me at all, he just giggled lowly and pulled me to the line to get our food.
Even after we sat down with our food in front of us he didn't answer me. There was only a slight smirk plastered on his face, which made me nervous.

Not even a minute later Dowoon, Wonpil and Sungjin arrived at our table and sat down with their food trays in front of them.

Brian's smirk then turned into a wide grin as he started talking.

"Our chicken little wanted to know something, guys. He wondered if we were serious when we said he should join the band. What do you think?"
he then asked, still grinning ear to ear.

And this was my cue to get anxious once again. I hid my face in my hands in embarrassment. This situation was exactly what I wanted to avoid by asking him alone.

They just looked at each other for a few seconds, before Sungjin turned in my direction,
"What do you think?" he asked.

"It's completely fine if it was a joke. I'm sorry for even asking this. I was dumb for not knowing you were joking.",
I started rambling way too fast, my eyes not once leaving the table in front of me.

Then all four of them burst into laughter. I was bright red by now and so embarrassed I wished to disappear.
As Wonpil noticed that he seemed worried,
" Jae, are you okay. Aren't you happy about being part of our band?",
I then saw confusion in his face as I glanced at him.
"part of your band?",
I slowly repeated what he said,
"wait, what?!"

"dumbass, of course you're part of our band now!", Brian chimed in, a smirk still tugging on his lips.
I couldn't believe it and slowly shook my head in confusion.
Why did they laugh if I'm part of their band, though.

"And he's stressing about something again.",
Sungjins voice snapped me out of my thoughts. He wasn't completely wrong though.
As I wanted to answer him, Dowoon reminded us that we had to go to our classrooms. It was probably for the better because my response would probably have been useless anyways.
So we parted and attended our next class.