Just A Song

13

Pov. Kang Younghyun

It felt like a heavy weight was lifted off of my chest. But why did I even care so much?
I haven't known Jae for more than a few weeks. It shouldn't matter this much to me.

But why do I feel so relieved just knowing he doesn't mind?
And why did I tell HIM before I mention anything like that to Sungjin, Dowoon or Wonpil?
I've known them for quite a few years now and they are the best friends I ever had. I know they wouldn't hate me because of something as unimportant as my sexuality.
They probably wouldn't mind at all.
It makes absolutely no sense for me to trust Jae rather than them. Or does it?

These thoughts played on repeat in the back of my mind the whole night and morning until Jae woke up.
I didn't sleep all night but I'm used to it by now.
As far as you can get used to it, it's more like I lowered my expectations.

I spent the night trying not to stare at the boy cuddled up next to me. I really tried not to. I know it would be creepy. But I couldn't keep my gaze from lingering on his sleeping figure.

It's calming to see him so peaceful. Like all his stress is on delay, waiting to attack again the next morning. But for the time being he looked way younger, more boyish and innocent.
I didn't sleep this night but it wasn't as bad as usual because I wasn't alone.

At some point Jae stirred in his sleep and moved around more trying to block out the consciousness.
But he didn't succeed.
He slowly opened his eyes blinking a few times before he was able to open them properly.
Once he did, his eyes were fixed on me. That's when I realised I was in fact staring at him. Not creepy at all...
In an attempt to cover up my embarrassment I quickly mumbled,
" good morning, sleeping beauty"

And was once now EXTREMELY EMBARRASSED. Why the hell did I say that?!? He probably thinks I'm creepy AND have a crush on him now.
Wow, well done...

"Morning gorgeous "
He murmured with an unusual raspy voice.

I couldn't bring myself to look at him in this moment. He did not just say that, I probably fell asleep and am still dreaming right. Yeah Jae wouldn't say that to me...
I nervously chewed on my lower lip as I dared to glance at the boy next to me.
And regretted every decision that led to this very moment.
He was staring right at me with soft brown eyes and a slight smirk playing on his lips.

"huh, suddenly not so confident anymore?" he mocks, rising his eyebrow. His eyes still piercingly trained on me.
And I couldn't concentrate on anything but him either.

That's when a plan started to form in my mind.  Ohh I'll show you confidence if you want me to, babyy.

He still laying on his back, head  turned to face me with stray strands of hair falling into his face gracefully. I don't know how messy hair can fall gracefully but somehow it does.

A smirk similar to his starts to form on my face as I stare back at him, no longer shy or awkward but filled with a playful glimmer instead.

I rolled over and held myself up on my forearms. Hovering over the former so cocky boy that seemed to be surprised by my actions.
You wanted confidence babyboy, didn't you.
His lips now no longer smirking but instead parted slightly, while a light pink blush spread over his pale cheeks. His eyes look up at me but never once meet mine.