It's been 1 day since I have been staying with Ashton. Calum was fine with it, he even seemed excited to know I would be living with them for a little while.
It also has been 1 day since I have cut myself. And I feel terrible. Ashton has been telling me everything will be alright, but I feel so bad. Even worse then when I actually was thinking about killing myself. That has to say something, right? That it's not good for me not to hurt myself? Ashton has been helping me though, trying to distract me.
"What about we all go and do something today? I'm bored out of my mind!" Calum yelled from the couch. I sighed and closed my eyes. Ashton looked my way. I couldn't see him doing it but I can feel the burn of his stare on my face. I opened one eye and looked his way. He quickly looked away and I swear I saw his cheeks turn a pink colour. It must be my imagination, because when he stood up, agreed with Calum and turned around to me again it was gone.
After I agreed and we called Michael we arrived at the bowling alley/ diner. We got our shoes and went to our lane. We put our names in the order Michael - Calum - Ashton - Luke. Michael insisted he went first to show us nibwits how it's done. Yes he came up with that word on his own. So we started our game.30 minutes into our game Michael and Calum were in a neck and neck race on winning while Ashton had a pretty good score being third and I gave up playing and was still at 3 points. Ashton sat next to me when it wasn't his turn and tried to get me to join, but I refused. He didn't give up though and after he was done he sat next to me again. This time though, he spoke in a whisper, as if he didn't want Michael and Calum to be able to hear us.
"I know it's not the right place to ask, but what happened?". I gave him a weird look as to tell him I didn't know what he was talking about. "When I came to your house yesterday your nose was bleeding and you still have a bruise on your stomach? I saw it when you were changing. N-Not that I was l-looking, you know, i-it just caught my a-attention" Ashton stuttered the last part, looking to the ground so I couldn't see his face.
"Nothing happened, I just fell" I told him my most used lie. He didn't seem to buy it but since it was his turn again he dropped it and went to retrieve a bowling ball. Ashton's seat was replaced by Michael and the questionnaire started again, but this time about a different topic.
"So.... What's going on between you and Ashton?" Michael asked. I was taken by surprise and hearing Mickey's chuckle it was very visible it did.
"What do you mean?" I asked
"Calum told me that Ashton has been acting different since he met you and I noticed you did to after you met him, so want to tell me what's going on?" Michael explained."Nothing is going on between us. Ashton is just looking after me. He saw me after Ryan and Adam beat me up again" I said, but whispered the last part, not looking Michael in the eye.
I didn't wait for Michael's reaction as I ducked to hide from Ryan, who just came walking in with his friends. Why did we have to come here? I knew he was going bowling today, I am so stupid for agreeing with this stupid idea.
"What's wrong?" Calum asked when seeing me ducked and Michael looking worried in Ryan's direction.
"SHH!!" Michael said to shut Calum up. He looked quite offended but Michael didn't care. I was practically crying from feeling so scared and when Ashton saw me sitting he shot up and sat next to me, trying to comfort me.
"We have to get out of here" Ashton said to Michael and Calum who nodded in response. We all stood up and Ashton and Michael tried to keep me hidden from Ryan. We walked out the door and we ran straight into Adam. Fuck.
"Hey, where were you yesterday? We were looking for you all day!" Adam faked being worried sick.
"Ooh, I thought you said it was okay with your family to stay with us?" Calum asked, confusion written all over his face. I paled and didn't know what to say. "You can take him back if you want, we'll bring his stuff back, right Ash?" Calum once again said. I felt Ashton tense after hearing that and he was lost for words as well. "We'll bring them somewhere today, you can take him home now if you want" Calum said, almost handing me over.
" No!" Ashton almost yelled while pulling me back. I was shaking with fear. "I- I mean I uhh..." Ashton tried to explain his sudden outburst. "Luke and I were working on a project and Ash was helping, right Ash?" Michael saved the both of us. Ashton frantically nodded.
"Bu-" Calum was cut off by Michael quickly asking if it was okay for me to stay a little while longer. To our disappointment Adam shook his head and said; "No, Ryan and I were worried sick yesterday, so I would like to take him home". I started shaking again and slowly followed Adam to his car.
Once Adam brought me home he harshly pushed me in my room and locked the door. It's not uncommen they do that, I like it actually, that way they won't hurt me.... Yet. I heard Adam talking on the phone, which I'm guessing is Ryan. A few minutes later I heard a car pull up and I heard Ryan ask where I was. He stomped up the staris and unlocked the door. A smug grin made his way up his face and he slowly walked towards me. I crawled back until I hit the wall and put my arms in front of my face to protect it.
I looked in the mirror to see my broken body.After Ryan was done with me I received a few more kicks and punches from Adam and then they left. I took off my clothes to take a look at the damage. I had two bruises already, a bloody nose, probably a black eye and a few more bruises by tomorrow. My eyes drifted off to my scars. They were already fading and I missed the feeling of my blade. My lifesaver. I quickly glanced outside, grabbed my towel and raced to the bathroom. I locked it and turned on the shower. I took out my razor and placed it neatly next to the shampoo and conditioner. I got in and quickly washed myself. After I grabbed the razor and placed it on my thigh. I slowly slid it over my thigh and sighed at the fimiliar feeling it gave me.
"Deeper, Luke, deeper"
"I know you want it"
"Just deep enough to not be here anymore"
I kept hearing those things whenever I got out my razor. Usually I ignore them, but not this time. I cut deeper and deeper and it felt so good. Finally leaving this terrible place. I stopped when I got dizzy and cleaned everything up. I dried myself of, wrapped up my cuts and got out of the shower again. Maybe not today, but someday I will leave. But first I need to say goodbye to Michael, Ashton, Calum and my Mum.
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Soo yeah another update.... What do you guys think is going to happen? I hope you liked it even though it's pretty short.... Oops?
Goal: I'm not doing this anymore, I will try and update every week, just need to think of a day, I think it'll be a Saterday or Sunday :)
I also want to thank taypop101 for the amazing cover, seriously thank you!
BYEEEE!!! :D Please do vote and comment though
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Tattooed Hearts (Lashton)
FanfictionA lot has happened in Luke's life and he decides that he wants a tattoo for every one of them. In the tattoo shop he meets Ashton, who is a punk rock, tattooed and pierced guy who gets the honor of giving Luke's first tattoo. The more tattoo's Luke...