Tattooed Hearts (Lashton)

Chapter 13

Ashton PoV

'Dear Ashton,

I'm sorry I did this to you... I just had to. Ryan started beating me up more and worse then before, I don't even think Adam knows about them.

I really am sorry, you know. I feel like we became so close, I consider you one of my best friends, and I hate doing this to you. I know you'll be sad and you'll miss me, I'll miss you too, I just couldn't do it anymore.

I know that's not really an excuse for what I did, but it's the only thing I can come up with other then how bad I felt and how the voices told me it would all get better after this, I really hope it will or this would've been for nothing.

I want you to make the same promise as I made Michael and Calum do. Do not, under any circumstances, follow me. I will be pissed if you do.

Just like I will be waiting for Michael and Calum, I will be waiting for you too, I will protect you the best I can and I'll watch you with everything you do.

I really will miss you, Ashton.

Goodbye

I love you,

Luke'

I read the letter again. The old tear drops being joined with fresh ones. I don't understand how he could do this to me! To Michael and Calum! We were his best friends an like he said, not being able to do it anymore is no excuse.

"You're just jealous he did something you never could"

Shut up, I don't need you to make this worse.

"Oh but I'm just stating the truth here. He did what you never dared to an now you're mad at him? How pathetic and hypocritical are you?"

I flinched at that. It was true, when I was depressed I thought about suicide a lot. I even tried. Almost. Until I chickened out.

"That's what I've been saying. Aren't you happy I'm back now? To tell you how it really is?"

No I am not. Definitely not.

I saw Calum giving me a sympathetic look. He knew they were talking again. He said next to me and rubbed my back when I tried my hardest to hold back my tears. My best friend is in the hospital due to a failed suicide attempt and here I am, almost crying because of what some stupid voice, who doesn't even exist, is saying to me.

Michael gave us a confused look when he came back from the bathroom but he didn't have time to ask when a doctor came in saying Luke's name. Immediately the three of us jumped up and ran towards him, giving him hopeful looks. He cleared his throat and started saying,

"Mr. Hemmings is out of life danger".

We all sighed of relieve and the doctor continued.

"But he hasn't woken up yet and he has to stay at least a couple of days after he does"

"How long do you think before he wakes up, doctor?" Michael asked, trying to swallow his happy tears.

-

He didn't know, that's what the doctor said. We all hugged and were crying, but this time they were happy tears. That was a couple of days ago, now I'm sitting in Luke's room, holding his hand an praying he'll wake up soon.

"Please, Lukey, wake up" I kept whispering. I sat there and slowly drifted off to dreamland, where Luke was awake and healthy and where he felt the same about me as I feel about him, still holding his hand.

Michael PoV

"What's up with Ashton?" I asked Calum when we went to sit at a table in the cafeteria. Ashton didn't want to come, he said he wanted to be there when luke wakes up. He hasn't left his side, only to go the the bathroom and even then he made one of us sit in the room until he returned.

"What do you mean?" Calum asked, eating a bite from his sandwich.
"Well, I mean he hasn't left Luke's side yet and he keeps whispering to himself and sometimes even flinches, as if someone just told him to die or something" I explained. Calum froze a bit and I got even more confused of his reaction.

"You noticed too?" He asked. I nodded.

"Okay I don't know if I'm supposed to say this, but I'll tell you." He started. I nodded for him to go on and he did.

"So a couple of years ago Ashton was depressed. Severely. He had these voices in his head who used to tell him how horrible he is and how he should be dead. He started to get interested in Music and Art and eventually it stopped. But they returned recently. The voices, I mean. Also he uh might, you know, a kind of crush on Luke? I think he is totally whiped for the kid. He's all that Ash has been talking about lately. Seriously, if he wasn't with him, he was talking about him" Calum said.

I was utterly shocked when I heard about his depression. It does make a bit more sense now though, how he wanted to help Luke and how wanted to see if he's alright everyday. Wait....

"Wait, did you just say he likes Luke?" I asked. Calum nodded, finishing his lunch and throwing the rest away. I didn't say anything but grabbed Ashton's lunch instead and walked to the lift with Calum.

"I'll give it to him, if you don't mind..." I told Calum and walked to Luke's room, not waiting for Calum's response.

When I came into the room I saw Ashton asleep with tear stained cheeks while holding Luke's hand. It would've been a cute sight, if we weren't in the hospital because Luke tried to kill himself.

I shook Ashton lightly to wake him up. "Go away, I don't want you here" He mumbled. I shook him a bit harder ad he finally woke up.

"Hey Michael" He said with a sleepy voice. I handed him his lunch and asked him how he was doing.

"I'm fine" He said.

"Don't lie to me, Irwin" I told him sternly. He gulped and looked kind of panicked.

I sighed, "Calum told me, don't be mad at him for doing that because I asked" I said.

He sighed and looked down.

"They just won't shut up" He said.

"What are they saying?" I asked gently.

"That I can't be mad at Luke because he did something I never dared to. I just want to help him...." He whispered the last part, looking at Luke.

"I know you do, I do too, but there is nothing I can do other then being his friend" I tried to comfort him.

"But I know what it's like, I got out of it, I should know what to do to get him out of this mess as well, yet it only got worse and now mine is coming back too" He said, grabbing his hair with one hand, but never letting go of Luke's.

I gave him a sympathetic look. "You know, I when I was on the internet this picture popped up on my screen. It was of two crossed swords stuck in the ground. One was black ad the other white. It reminded me of you and Luke. Both fighting, Different ways but the same enemy" I told him. It was true, after I found out about Ashton depression and when I saw that picture, it kind of made sense to me.

He nodded and whispered a small 'Thank you'. I nodded and left the room, walking up to Calum and I told him everything that happened in Luke's room.

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Another chapter, I am on a roll! I know it's not very long again and I am really sorry, but I thought it would be a good point to stop here.... Also I dedicate this to KirstyMichael for leaving a comment on almost every chapter, Thank you for that, you have no idea how happy that makes me :)

Thoughts on Ashton never leaving Luke's side?

Thoughts on Calum tellling Michael about Ash's depression?

Thoughts on Michael's look at how Ashton and Luke look alike but not really?

Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote and comment! :D