INT: GRANDPA'S HOUSE
JACK, JIM, and MATHEW are sitting around the kitchen table.
JIM
What an epic way to get canned!
MATHEW
How was the brandy?
JACK
Smooth.
JIM picks up a spoon off of the table and holds it to JACK'S face as if it were a microphone.
JIM
So Mr. Martin, you have quit your job, you're about to lose your place of residence and you have no girlfriend. What do you have to say for yourself?
JACK grabs JIM'S hand and pulls it closer to his mouth.
JACK
Well, first I would like to thank god for giving me the lack of desire to succeed at anything. And I have to thank...
JACK did not finish that sentence as JIM, MATHEW, and Jack hear a scream and then MISS FRENCH comes running into the kitchen topless.
MISS FRENCH
Your grandfather is having a heart attack!
JIM, JACK, and MATHEW rush upstairs. Jim and Jack performCPR on GRANDPA. Mathew calls 911 and MISS FRENCH stands behind and above Jim.
INT. HOSPITAL – HOURS LATER
JIM, MATHEW, and JACK stand around GRANDPA lying in a hospital bed dead.
JIM
This sucks.
MATHEW
I'm going to miss that crazy old man.
JACK
This is exactly how he would have liked to go.
JIM
Ms. French said his last words were, I'm coming.
MATHEW
That old bastard got off before he died off!
JACK
Good for him. But I imagine at
his age, it came out as dust.
MATHEW chuckles. JIM frowns.
JIM
Is there anything you two don't joke about? Grandpa is dead!
Five seconds of silence. MATHEW and JACK bow their heads.
MATHEW
Maybe it's like powdered milk. Just apuff of flour.
JACK
That would have to chafe when he came.
MATHEW
For her or him?
JACK
Him.
MATHEW
I would agree. Instead of giving her a
pearl necklace, you would be giving her a powdered donut.
JACK and JIM both giggle. A NURSE looks in and sees them laughing. She shoots them a disgusted look. They hold their laughter.
INT. CHURCH
Church with the pews sporadically filled with about nine people that include JACK, JIM, and MATHEW. The brothers sit in the front row of a small catholic church on Lombard St. wearing black suits. Most of the WOMEN that Grandpa had the good fortune to spend time with were there sobbing. The PRIEST speaks of Grandpa like he knew him. An erne with Grandpa's ashes sits next to a life size picture of him surrounded by flowers.
PRIEST
Dominic loved his family...
JACK turns back and looks over the crowd. He then looks towards MATHEW.
JACK
Pretty scarce in here?
MATHEW turns and looks back.
MATHEW
You have to die young to get a full
house
JACK
Where's Bitchy, I mean Dixie?
MATHEW
She said he was a dirty old man that deserved everything he got and was not wasting a vacation day for him.
JACK
She is wonderful.
JIM shoots them a look like they should be quiet.
The PRIEST was just finishing and he motions for JACK to come to the front to give the eulogy.
JACK walks up to the pulpit to speak.
JACK
Grandpa told me once, he was late to
discover life. Like many of us, hemade sacrifices. His sacrifices were made mainly for his family. We may not sacrifice our happiness for our loved ones but maybe we do for our jobs, or for something else that is taking our attention away from the world we wished we lived in, opposed to the world we are living in. Fortunately for my grandfather his life was not over before he had a chance to follow his dreams. After 70 years of playing life safe he spent the last ten living to the extreme; traveled, bungee jumped, drank great wine, mountain biked, went to Super Bowl 40 where he saw his beloved Steelers win the Super Bowl, and touched many of you here today. If I take one thing from my grandfather it will be to smile, laugh and play more. For those who wonder where my Grandfather thought he was going. His faith was strongest in the last words he spoke before he died. I'm coming. Thank you for all being here today.
JIM and MATHEW smile. JACK steps down from the pulpit and heads towards the exit. Jim and Mathew stand and followhim out. Everyone files out of the church shaking the boy's hands on the way out apologizing to them for their loss. The last person exits the church. Jim, Jack, and Mathew step outside the church. Mathew heads down the steps and turns back to his brothers.
JIM
I'm coming?
MATHEW
Nice line.
JACK
That was a direct quote.
JIM
Why is it that we only feel how short life is once it touches your world? Death is the alarm clock going off in all of or lives, unfortunately in a couple of weeks everyone here will have pushed snooze.
JACK
In that case, Please god let me stay awake.
MATHEW
Do you want to go get something to eat?
YOU ARE READING
I QUIT
General FictionJim is living a normal life until tragedy changes his life forever. He will have to decide between starting over or continue living in this life of mediocrity.
