The Kitten Project (Metal Bat Fanfic)

Chapter 6: I'm Nothing But A Freak

(Miku's Pov)

After last night's incident, I didn't want to leave my bedroom, nor the apartment, but most of all I didn't want to face Bang nor the others. I knew I was going to lose control, now everyone hates me and think I'm a freak. Why did I think any of this would go as planned? Why did I think things would go my way? I'm a stupid fucking freak!! I always be a fucking freak!!

When Bang came home, he tried tempting me out of my room but I didn't budge, I was a freak, I deserve to be locked away where I won't hurt anyone. I didn't talk, I didn't move from the bed, I didn't eat, nor sleep. I lied there thinking about how shitty my life is, how much I wanna die, hate my life and am just a fucking freak.

Now that it's the next day, I got less than 2 hours of sleep. I didn't want to leave this bed nor the room again. I deserved to die...All those years being kidnapped and experimented on, maybe it was the god's way of telling me that I was supposed to die in there and that all I'll ever do is hurt people and am nothing but an experiment. I wish I was dead, I shouldn't be alive, I don't wanna be alive...I'm such a fucking freak.

However, I had to apologize to Bang for how I reacted. I knew I was going to react this way and I just wasn't ready, but that was my fault and Bang's already done so much for me. Plus, I didn't want to be a depressed bitch so I guess I gotta confront everything despite never wanting to ever again, Bang raised me better than this. The least I can do is listen to the old man for once...

I sighed and yawned tiredly as I rose out of bed groggily and weakly. I haven't cried that hard in years, guess sometimes when you get so angry the memories start to come back and you still feel affected by it that you can't help but cry it out. Like the child inside me begging to let go of all this pain by crying...What do I know really? I'm still fucked up and I will probably always be fucked up.

I sighed and shook my head a bit, I didn't mean to lose control but how was I supposed to not? I don't have control over everything yet and who knows if I ever will. I felt so bad now, I gotta apologize to the guy, 'he was kinda cute though not gonna lie' I scoffed a bit and rolled my eyes damn now Bang and Tatsu got me questioning about wanting a boyfriend now...great, exactly what I need right now. Like he would ever date me anyways, I practically scratched and threatened the dude with his own weapon. Surely that'll go well on the boyfriend resume.

I sighed and stretched my sore and stiff muscles. My ears and tail twitched a bit with discomfort because I've been lying in the same position for a for basically 24 hours now and god knows that hurts like a bitch. I took a deep shaky breath which hurt cause my chest and heart hurt from crying so much and having all this guilt on my conscious. I looked like absolute garbage it's unreal...I hated this.

I hesitantly headed out of the bedroom to the smell of coffee and food. Bang looked at me and smiled softly "There ya are. Didn't think you would ever come out of there" He chuckled, I frowned and rolled my eyes as I headed to the kitchen, grabbed a glass and poured myself a cup of coffee "B-Bang?" I stuttered, he looked at me "I'm sorry" I whispered,

He pet my head which made me smile and purr softly "you have nothing to be sorry for Miku. That was a lot of pressure. I didn't mean to push you so hard. You do have to apologize to Badd though for threatening and scratching his face" He chuckled a bit. I sighed and nodded "It wasn't your fault ya know. I kinda figured I was going to lose control sometime soon but I guess what Badd said really got on my nerves and made it worse. The others probably hate me now and think of me as an absolute freak" I ranted and sighed as I covered my face with embarrassment and shame.

Bang sighed "they don't hate you, nor think of you as a freak. Once you get to know them fully, they're good people Miku and you will fit right in with them. They were just shocked when they saw you and picked a fight with Badd" He said, I sighed a bit and sipped my coffee 'th-they don't hate me? But why? They should...everyone should...I'm just a freak...but how?' I thought and tilted my head with confusion.