Why do I love you (CxR)

Gone (II)

(C/N)'s POV:

"I remember the way she used to smile so brightly to everyone in the halls. She would laugh at everyone's jokes, even if they weren't that funny. And she loved to (favourite activity) when she was free after school." I say, my voice trembling.
"And I remember the way she used to look at me. I didn't notice it before, but she looked at me with pure love and adoration."
The way she smiled made me feel butterflies in my stomach. She was so kind and beautiful. How did I let this happen.
"And then I let her go. I let the one thing that I loved most in life go. I was the reason she felt so lonely."
"I'm sorry, (Y/N). I am so so sorry that I ruined your life by not telling you how much I was in love with you." I turned to look at her pale body. There was still a rope mark around her neck.
"I hope that we all remember her by the good times we had with her." I turn back to the audience of people and tears stream down my face. "I hope that we all remember her by her smile, her laughs, her jokes and her kindness."
I walked past the coffin and whispered "I'm sorry that I couldn't fix your heart, and I'm sorry that I'm the one who broke it."

~~~~~~2 weeks earlier~~~~~~

I was just finishing breakfast when I heard a knock at my door.
"Coming!"
I unlocked the door to see Mrs and Mr (Y/L/N) standing there with sad looks.
"Mrs (Y/L/N), what happened?" I asked.
The last time they came over and looked somewhat like this was when (Y/N) broke her leg and arm and was in the hospital.
"(Y/N)... she..."
I gave her time to find her words.
"She's gone..." her dad whispered.
"W-what..?"
"Here." He handed a (favourite colour) envelope to be that said '(C/N)' on it.
The envelope was sealed with a heart sticker of a (lighter/darker) shade of (favourite colour).
"We'll be heading home now. Goodbye, (C/N)." Her dad said, a tear forming in his eye.

I went up to my room and opened the letter. (Y/N)'s handwriting was on the letter inside.

Dear (C/N),
Right now, it's most likely April 27th, 2019 as you're reading this.
If mom and dad didn't already tell you, I'm gone.
And in this, I'll try to explain why.
You see, I fell in love with you, (C/N).
"So did I, (Y/N)..." I whisper while a tear streams down my face.
I fell in love with you and you didn't love me back.
And I'm not mad at you. I'm happy that you're happy with her! <3
Please, don't cry when you read this. I don't want you to remember me as your friend that took her own life. I want you to remember me as (Y/N) (Y/L/N).
(Y/N) (Y/L/N). The girl that loved to (favourite activity). The girl that loved all her friends so much. The girl that smiled at everyone and laughed at jokes, even if they weren't funny. I want you to remember me as your friend that gave life her all before leaving.
I left because I just felt so alone.
You and (R/N) were happy and I didn't want to interfere. You loved her so much-
"No, I loved you."
-and I didn't want to step in and ruin that.
And don't get mad at her, but (R/N) and I didn't get along. She was so mean to me and I just couldn't take it.
Do you know what it's like seeing the love of your life happy with someone that hates you?
Well it feels so... it makes you feel like you're pathetic. Falling for a guy that's happier with out you.
And (B/F/N) and her became friends so I just assumed that I didn't belong.
So I left. For good.
I was just so tired of everything. The heartbreak, the pain and sadness, the betrayal, the anxiety, the feeling of worthlessness. I just couldn't take it.
So please, be happy with them. For me.

Sincerely, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).

No. No, no, no, no, no.

She's gone. She's gone for good and it's all my fault...