For who am I to think I could escape such feelings.
That I would be allowed to move on and forget the pain and sorrow that was brought by loving you.
Pain would not be the only thing that I moved on from.
As loving you brought me many things I could not foresee.
My love for you came with surprise and endurance. The endurance of loneliness seemed to never end.
I don't think it ever will if I do not have you. It won't end even if I have you.
Longing and lost but also a sense that we would get through such things together.
So much lust that was never acted upon the way it should of been.
Lust that forever will not be sedated.
Guilt for loving you and no one else, even when I was supposed to love someone else.
The torment that was on my mind every night I did not have you next to me.
Even just being able to look at you and hear your voice, that would of been enough.
Being able to hold you was just a dream that I knew would never come true. Yet I yearned for it with every fibre of my being.
I would've broke every bone in my body and set every nerve a flame just to be able to hold your hand...
Just once.
I still would.
Jealousy that infects my mind and tortures my sleep to think that anyone else could ever and has been with you the way I wanted.
It turns me into a man I do not recognize, like a poison only you can inflict but I wouldn't change it for the world.
For who am I to think I could escape this love that will haunt my entire being.
