Poetry by Shawn Thomas

Frequently by Shawn Thomas

Sometimes I think about you.

I think about how long it's been,
How long it's felt like,
And how long this will keep going.

Personally it feels worth it but, how many times have I told myself this?
Give "this girl" a chance and let "that girl" figure herself out
And then we'll work things out.

What if this is just the same cycle again? Being hung over on someone until I can't no more?
I feel self aware enough to know that this is different but, am I really? Or am I just telling myself that?

Sometimes I think about you.

I think about how you share my tunnel vision to keep going,
I think about how you got me to open up after swearing the last time,
was my last time,
I think about the time you're putting into yourself because self care is important,
And on days where I somehow personally can't focus on my goals and aspirations,

I think about the time we spent together

Sometimes, I think about you

The playlists,
the pictures,
the time spent,
and the immature mistakes to top it all off

I like to think those memories were fun, but they were rushed

Rushed because of the fear of losing them
Rushed because of the reassurance I was looking for
Rushed because I never felt this way before
Rushed so that this wouldn't just be the same cycle again:

"Being hung over on someone until I can't no more"

Sometimes I think about you

And I think it's safe to assume you think about me still.

And that's why I think that it feels worth it.
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I wrote this to get feelings I been have my chest. Relationships are hard as shit and I don't think I've ever experienced a successful in my life or even been around one.

There's so many complex things you have to consider in a relationship like truly appreciating the delicacy of the moment but don't give up. You gotta take every one as a lesson and enjoy it for what it is (or was). I hope I can fix mine one day.
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Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
You beautiful and have purpose, don't forget that.