Wonderwall [Vanessa/you] [Hiatus]

S2. Episode thirteen

S2:Ep13 Garden Shed

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Conflicted.

That's how I felt.

A guilt was rising up inside of me but so was satisfaction. Did I feel like a piece of shit for what I just did? Hell yes. But I felt like less of a piece of shit than I expected to feel like.

I knew I royally fucked up, that was obvious, but there was also this feeling of.. of 'I don't mind' and I know that wasn't okay. But, as we both laid bare in this bed that didn't even belong to us, her sleeping soundlessly on my chest while I combed through her hair. I felt okay. And that wasn't okay. I shouldn't feel okay about this but.. I did.

It was a terrible terrible feeling to be okay with something like this. I felt more guilty being okay with it then I did with what I had just done. That was the terrible part.

My phone buzzed throughout the room and I reached for it, careful not to wake Jasmine up. It was Jospeh.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Hey, we're packing up, where you guys at?" He questioned.

I couldn't tell him. Yes he was my best friend and yes I knew he wouldn't judge me but I was already judging myself. I couldn't tell anyone.

"Guys? I'm alone.. I woke up in the pool house." I felt Jas start to stir in my chest so I pulled her closer. "Jasmine isn't with you guys?"

"Nope. Guess she found someone last night." He said with a laugh and I looked down at her. She sure did.. "Anyways, please look for her at the house because the flight is in three hours and we've gotta head out."

"Alright I'll look for her, see you at the house." I hung up and stared at the phone before sighing, letting it drop besides me.

"Time to get up?" I heard her mutter into the crook of my neck, her breath ticking my skin and giving me goosebumps.

"Yeah." I replied but neither of us moved, not wanting this moment to end just yet. "We have to head back to reality." She suddenly giggled and I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?"

"Back to life, back to reaaality." She sung out in a whisper, inevitably making me laugh as well. "I love that song."

"Yeah?" I whispered and she raised her head, staring down at me as she tucked a loose hair behind her ear. She nodded softly before she looked away, a dejected look in her face. "What's wrong?"

"I.." she sat up and leaned against the headboard, holding the sheet to her chest. "Was this just.. one of those things? Like we use to do or did it like.." She huffed and looked at her fingers. "Did it mean something?"

I adverted my eyes when she gazed down at me while I slowly sat up. "Uh well.. I have a girlfriend, Jasmine." She nodded and started to climb out of the bed.

"Yeah I know." She let out a bitter chuckle as she started to put on her clothes from yesterday. "I don't know why I.. don't mind me, I'm still half asleep." I watched silently as she slipped into the heels at lightning speed, then walking to the door and almost making it out if I didn't speak up.

"You didn't let me finish." She stopped in her tracks when I stood up, grabbing my briefs and slipping into them before I reached out my hand to her. Looking down at it, she lowly closed the door back before making her way back over to me. "Don't be so haste, pretty." I said with a small smile once she grabbed my hand. "Like I was saying, I have a girlfriend. And I love her but.. you know, you make me feel things. Like.. lighter." She smiled and ducked her head down at my teasing tone.