Five Years Ago
"Babe, come here!" Dawn shouts from the bathtub. "The baby's kicking!"
My fork drops loudly onto my plate as I leap up from my chair, and hurdle over furniture to get to the bathroom as fast as I can.
Dawn is giggling, her two hands resting over her belly as she draws circles with her fingers on her skin.
I place a hand on her lower abdomen and smile, overjoyed, as a tiny flutter from the inside of her stomach creates small ripples in the water.
Another kick follows, and I can't help but grin from ear to ear. Looking up, I stare into Dawn's blue eyes.
"I love you," I say as I rub her belly.
She looks at me, her eyes unreadable.
"And I love you."
She smiles, but it doesn't touch her eyes.
"I have a doctor's appointment at noon today," Dawn explains. "I'll stop by your job after to let you know how it went."
She moves to get up, and I help her out of the water. The suds stick to her body as she places each foot on the bath mat.
I give her a quick kiss on her forehead as she wraps her bathrobe around her body.
"See you later little one," I say to the small bump, and exit the bathroom.
***
Each day that passes by is like a weight being stacked on my shoulders.
Dawn is about twenty weeks along, and has been having complications with her pregnancy. She visits with her OBGYN frequently. She doesn't allow me to come with her, saying that it's just a bunch of boring tests and routines, and so I just wait patiently for her to call.
All I want is for my baby to be born healthy, but Dawn makes it impossible for me to even know what's going on.
Calm down. She'll let you know if anything serious is happening. I assure myself.
Right then, Dawn comes through the door. She drops her car keys in the bowl on the entryway table, and shrugs off her sweater.
She seems upset.
And that's when I notice something off about her stomach.
Where's the small bump?
Where's my baby?
***
"I'm so sorry, Chris! I had to do it! The doctor said I didn't have any other options!" Dawn sobs.
She stands in the doorway of our room, her small figure shuttering with each inhale that she takes.
I'm sitting on the end of the bed, stunned into complete silence.
My baby. Our baby.
She, or he, is gone.
And there's nothing I can do about it.
I rest my elbows on my knees, and put my face in my hands, wanting to pretend like none of this happened. Tears fall down my cheeks and soak into my cotton t-shirt, but I don't care. I just want my unborn child back.
YOU ARE READING
For A Reason
ChickLit"I just thought..." I begin, flustered, not really sure where my words are headed. He shakes his head. "We can't," he states, removing my hand from his. "There are a million reasons why we can't." He runs a hand through his hair, seemingly frustrate...
