For A Reason

Chapter 39: The Impending Doom

I fidget with my skirt hem nervously under the conference room table as Isaac Thomas paces in manic circles around us.

Although I know he's the company's attorney, and that he's only here to protect our image from any repercussions exuded, I still feel like I'm waiting to receive proper punishment from the principal for bad behavior.

My eyes follow Isaac's suit jacket as he finishes yet another lap around the table. Finally, he closes the file he holds in his hands, and takes a seat at the head of the table, his tongue clicking disapprovingly while doing so.

I peer up at Chris, who sits next to me on my right. His eyebrows are furrowed as he scrutinizes Isaac's reaction to all of this.

"I'm just going to get straight to the point," Isaac says, clapping his hands together on the table in front of him. "It's not against company policy for the CEO to date another supervisor."

I can almost feel the stress being lifted from my shoulders after Isaac makes his initial statement.

"However," he adds, and my heart sinks to the ground. "You will have to undergo a thorough investigation of the potential underlying issues that may have surfaced with the emergence of your romantic involvement."

He makes it sound so... promiscuous.

I glance up at Chris again. His form is as still as stone, like a statue, as he listens to Isaac's proposition with a furrowed brow. He does seem a little concerned, but I try to push that fact to the back of my mind. What we don't need right now is my anxious behavior messing things up.

"This investigation will be done as quickly, and as painlessly as possible. The end goal here is to transpire as both a profitable and well-esteemed business, as well as ensure that both of your jobs remain in tact."

My heartbeat thumps loudly in my ears, and I'm almost certain that Chris and Isaac can hear it.

"But there is something you should consider," Isaac suggests as he stands from the table, leveling with us as human beings now. "As long as you both continue to work here, your reputation at Blue Sky may be forever tainted. Even if you didn't do anything unlawful; once people form their own opinions on a matter, there's no changing their minds later."

Isaac's enlightening speech resonates with me, deep in my core. The thought has always been present, but now I know what I have to do.

"What if one of us were to resign?" I inquire to Isaac quickly, before I change my mind.

I can feel Chris' analytical gaze shift to my face, studying my expression. I keep my eyes from looking into his, convinced that just with one glimpse into those beautiful, hazel-green irises, I'll melt like a popsicle on a hot day, caving into my true feelings for him.

Chris makes me feel whole again, like I never got my heart broken in the first place. He's good for me, but I need to be good for myself now. I've relied on my past relationships to fill the void of loneliness; first with my mother, and then with Jeremiah, never really experiencing what it's like to be truly content in the unnerving aspect of self-sufficiency.

"Well 'out of sight, out of mind' is what they say. But you'll still need to go through the case examination process, nonetheless."

Isaac's response comes muffled, because all I can concentrate on is Chris' full lips turned down into a disapproving frown. His brows are knitted together out of concern, a tormented glower in his eyes. I turn my attention back to Isaac, who continues to review more of the investigation details to us.

"...gather a couple of character witnesses, view any security tapes, and then that'll be that."

"Security tapes?" I repeat uneasily. I shudder at the thought of the rest of the board watching Chris and I have sex together in the elevator... and in my office. And if they ask Jeremiah to be a character witness, there's no doubt that he'll sabotage the entire situation, and perhaps even cause Chris to lose his job.

I suddenly feel sick to my stomach, and I place a clammy hand on my forehead.

"I, uh -- I need to take a five minute break," I breathe out shakily upon standing from my seat.

"Um, this isn't really that long of a meeting. Could you wait until the end?" Isaac requests.

Chris side-glances at me worriedly, and I make a break for the bathroom. Once inside, I slide to the floor, my throat closing in on itself. I can hardly breathe, and the mention of character witnesses and sex tapes has me reeling with nausea. Standing upright, I rush into a stall, convinced that the day's troubles will somehow make their way up my throat and onto the floor beneath me.

Although I don't physically vomit, my body still attempts to purge all of the new information from my system by dry-heaving excessively.

A small knock sounds at the bathroom door, and I flush the toilet although it's not necessary.

"Just a minute," I meekly reply to the individual while raising myself up to a standing position.

"It's me," comes a familiar voice, and I recognize the sound as Halle's immediately. She pops her head into the bathroom, and I'm overwhelmed with a sudden urging desire to hug her, so I do.

I rush across the tiny restroom, and wrap my arms around her small frame. She wheezes upon impact, but then returns the embrace, her hand stroking my wavy hair. I cry into her shoulder, and my figure trembles in her arms.

"Is the meeting not going as anticipated?" Halle questions softly.

"Character witness. Chris. Me. Sex tape!" I manage to choke out in between sobs.

Her hands smooth my hair down as she shushes me gently, swaying from side to side. "It's okay," she soothes as another wave of tears spill from my eyes. "You and Chris will figure this out. You belong together."

She sounds so confident saying it, that I almost change my mind completely; the vision of launching myself into Christopher's strong arms shrouding every fiber of my being. I don't change my mind though, because I know that I'm making the right decision for myself.

Halle is completely oblivious to the impending doom headed towards my romantic life; as is Chris.

"I'll be just outside when you're ready to come out," Halle comforts, her hand already on the handle of the bathroom door.

I nod my head at her as I swipe a shaky index finger underneath my bottom lashes. I look into the mirror in front of me, taking in the mascara that's smudged off under my eyes, the red, splotchy patches of skin around my nose. I snatch a paper towel from the basket on the counter, and quickly run it underneath the cold faucet water. Dabbing at the mess my mascara has made, I contemplate my past decisions and lessons.

When did things become so complicated? My previous relationships have never been this hard. I mean, I was with Jeremiah for most of my adult years, but I did learn a few lessons from my relationship with him. I guess it's only normal to go through a few heartbreaks every now and then, but I couldn't tell you how to grow from them as I'm just now figuring that out for myself.

I stare into my own light, brown eyes through the mirror before me. The woman that is Vanessa Lippel is a changed person, but not quite changed enough. In order to grow, you must let go of the past to be able to move forward in life. The past has helped shape me into the person I am today, and I believe that embracing the trials it has put me through will be the best way to focus on the future.

This time, I'm the one calling the shots on the course set before me; not my mother or Halle, nor Jeremiah, and definitely not the bullshit fairy-tales that claim a woman needs a man to be happy.

The road has divided in two, and I'm the one that gets to choose which path I'd like to travel.

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Let me know what you thought of the chapter by commenting! If you'd like, you can answer these two questions:

1. Will Chris lose his job because of their misconduct?
2. What is Vanessa trying to come to a decision on in regards to her romantic life?

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CSR: Honesty by Pink Sweat$