Wings

Chapter 16~ (No) words

Chapter 16~ (No) words
Tw: Angst, I guess

I opened my eyes, unable to breath and panicking heavily. Although, I only panicked for a second or two. It's just really scary not being able to breathe after waking up. At first I didn't recognize where I was, and why I was here, but then it all hit me. I'm in hospital. I fell. There were a few nurses by my side, and so were my parents, and my sister, and Darryl and Vincent. Even though I was in hospital, they didn't seem very upset. Maybe they already knew I wasn't heavily wounded. That's what it felt like, at least. Maybe it's the painkillers.

I looked down to see my left arm all wrapped up in bandages. Did I break it? Probably. Besides that I also noticed lots of scrapes on the bits of skin I could see.

The nurses knew I was awake, and just like all the other people in the room, they seemed to understand I was too tired to talk. They did explain me whatever happened to me, and they told me about my injuries.

A broken wrist, a mild concussion and a few deep cuts which had to be stitched up, and along with that lots and lots of scrapes and bruises, as I expected.

I would be able to go back home tomorrow. They had to perform surgery on my wrist to keep the bones in place during recovery, and the effects of the narcotics still weren't all worn out, hence my tiredness.

Other than that? Completely fine. I'm lucky to be alive, really. Maybe I should have died. There's no messing with the world's will, which proved itself by letting all the previous events happening. I shouldn't have tried to fly. I shouldn't have manipulated fate. The world never wanted me to fly. In short; I deserve all of this.

~~timeskip, a few days~~

I've gone back into my old youtuber rhythm. Recording, editing and uploading videos to youtube, updating my social media and occasionally a stream.

Since I haven't had much contact with Vincent and Darryl after the incident, I decided to invite them to a video. A Minecraft challenge, if you will. 

I did my overexcited into as usual, explained to my friends what the challenge was, and just had fun with them. Nobody spoke a word about my incident, there was an eerie silence about the topic, so after we finished our challenge, and I stopped my recording, I decided to man up and talk about it.

"So… we haven't really talked much after, y'know, the- uhh-"

"The incident?" Darryl spoke.

I nodded nervously, and whispered a small "yeah".

"Darryl and I actually wanted to talk to you about it." Vince said.

"Since you've kind of been avoiding contact with us, we feel like, you know, it's our fault." His words hit me like daggers. 

No, it was the exact opposite. Well, not really exact, but I didn't want them to feel like that at all. As much as I wanted to just scream this out loud, and make them feel better, no words managed to escape my mouth. I felt kind of panicky.

"We're sorry, ok?" Vincent said, almost in an aggressive tone.

I wanted to yell "no", and "no" a hundred more times, and explain it's not their fault but mine, and make sure not to ruin our friendship. Instead all that happened was my breathing getting even more panicky and choked than it already was. 

Silence.

Darryl was the one to break the silence. "It's ok if you don't want to talk, we'll speak to you sometime later". I picked up a hint of annoyance laced in his voice.

Just as I was about to speak up, both of my friends left the channel.

Oh, what have I done?