Understanding || Ben Solo

Episode II: Gentle

"if you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself." - Nikita Gill

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He was gentle.

She watched from the side-lines, leaning against a tree. Ben was reading to a group of their new students. It was one of the ancient Jedi texts she had taken from Ahch-to, but they only used it to teach methods of the Jedi before them, for historical context. They no longer practiced the old ways. It wasn't what was destined. Instead they taught that there was no good faith in being at opposite ends of Light and Dark, that they must all find balance.

Ben was a better teacher than he had expected of himself. Through Rey's encouragement, they both realised that he was much better with dealing with the youngest of their students. He was nurturing and kind in a way that Rey preferred to watch, mesmerised by him. Though Rey herself found herself preferring to train their older students and teaching them the mechanics of a lightsaber.

He was smiling and talking softly to them. Many of them had a tough beginning, much like Rey, and she appreciated his gentleness towards them. The sight of it only fed the fire that burned within her and lightened the burden of what she withheld from him.

A thought disrupted her, and she felt the unease ripple through her and into the bond.

He looked up, as though sensing her unease, and she immediately felt his contentment reverberate through the bond. It washed over her senses, calming her.

He handed over the text to one of their students, asking her to read aloud. The small girl began to read, ever so slowly and quietly. The other students encouraging her when she got stuck.

Ben stood up, taking no less than several strides before he reached her. He wrapped his arms around her waist easily, his face burying against the crook of her neck.

"I missed you," he whispered into her skin.

She smiled, snaking an arm around him and her hand smoothed over his long dark hair, pulling herself closer to him. A warm fire burning between them.

"I missed you too."

They stood like that for a while. And while Rey truly enjoyed their embrace, she couldn't deny the anxiousness that occupied her mind. He disentangled from her gently, an expression crossing his face.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly.

She held her tongue, turning her gaze away from him and back to the students behind him. She furrowed her brow, biting her lip in thought.

"I..." The words seemed to die in her throat, like she was just too afraid to say it because of how he might respond.

It wasn't like Rey feared his reaction. Not at all. Rather the consequence of it all. What it meant for them.

"Rey?" His hands settled on her shoulders, genuine concern settled on his features.

"Would you want one?" She let out quietly.

His puzzled expression deepened.

Her insides itched with apprehension. "A child? Would you want to start a family?"

His eyes sparked. A messy rush of excitement and confusion and the same apprehension she felt coursed through the bond.

"Is that what you're worried about?"

"Answer me, please," she whispered.

"I love you. And I will love you for how ever long you want me, Rey. If a child is what you'd want, then – "

"But is it what you want?"

She needed to know. She needed to know if he was ready for this, just as much as she was.

A smile took over his lips. "Yes."

As soon as his answer registered in her mind, she shut her eyes, and mustered the will to say it. To unburden herself of the news she had been holding onto since she had found out herself.

"I'm pregnant."

Silence.

A long silence.

She opened up an eye. He stared at her, mouth slightly opened looking utterly be founded. And just as she felt her churning emotions turn into something horribly similar to fear, he pressed his lips to hers.

It was eager, so overwhelmed with joy that it took her senses from her. The intense waves of his unfiltered delight at her words bombarded her, smothering the brewing fear within her chest. She felt him smile into their kiss as his arms curled around her body and her hands held the sides of his face. When they parted, breaths mingling, he laughed with watery eyes.

She still wasn't used to how beautiful it was or how much she yearned to hear it.

"You're going to be a mother," he said thickly with a grin. "I'm going to be a father!" And then after a beat, sounding more distressed. "I'm going to be a father..."

She wiped his tears away with her thumb, feeling her own dripping down her chin.

"And you're going to be the best father in the galaxy."

Ben Solo was gentle.