i am more afraid

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you say you are afraid but i am more-
i could neither home
this earth not the skies

-i have no place to survive



i am sorry for not wanting you after you left, i am sorry for missing you after you left. i am both the salt and the fire.

the first time, i remember it; fire flames making through your eyes- an ode of sensation, not wanting a physical presence had stroked but i let it mind for the moment.

'loss of body can be dangerous'

you looked like the fire wanting time loose existence and i wanted you too.

i remember moving to you crashing my skin against the concrete wall. it was more exuding than scratching to notice until you were gone. the late sun splashed there where my life was.

all over again this again, third this month. i was afraid i was being a double standard literary man slut for being non condensable with anyone but wanting you.

but

my wanting to have you does not mean my not wanting me

-thinking of it makes me not want you more





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